Abbreviating Abbreviation

By Noah Solovey

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

It’s another dumb flaw with the English language! Shouldn’t a word mimic its meaning? People, “rest” is a four-letter word. It is not something long that isn’t resting! Not only do words not mimic their definition, but these days words have so many definitions. Ask the closest person near you for the definition of set. Then ask someone else. I guarantee you they are different! Set has over 15 different definitions! Isn’t that stupid? So I think it is extremely dumb that abbreviation is such a long word, so I’m going to abbreviate it. I got it! It’s pretty simple: Abreve. It’s not a word yet, so why not make it one? From now on, I declare myself as the leader of the Abreve movement. Moving on from making abbreviation abbreviated, I want to have some fun. I’m going to ask ChatGPT how to abbreviate abbreviation. It has told me the abbreviation for abbreviation is abbr. Now I’m going to reload ChatGPT in a new conversation and ask it what abbr means. This is me messing with the English language BTW (hahaha). I am doing this in real time, and you won’t believe what it responded to. “Abbr can stand for: American Board of Bankruptcy Reform or Association of British Bookmaking and Racing. (Sidenote: why is there an association between bookmaking and racing, those things don’t go together.) 

The other day I actually found out that bookmaking means placing bets, not making books like I thought it would mean. So this gives me another chance to say that the English language is really stupid and confusing- personally, I think words should have one definition only.

So what we’ve learned from solving this controversy is that the English language sucks and to use abbreviations very carefully. You don’t want to text your best friend: Oh, you don’t know what BTW means? It means a baby teaching writers.