Ketchup Smoothie

By Noah Solovey

Since tomatoes are a fruit, should ketchup be considered a smoothie?

I am going to do a bit of research on this question. 

Google: 

Question: how is ketchup made?

Answer: By mixing concentrated tomato paste with water, sugar, vinegar, salt, and seasonings.

Question: what is a smoothie?

Answer: a thick, smooth drink of fresh fruit pureed with milk, yogurt, or ice cream.

Well after thinking for a bit, there is one more thing to look up: 

Google:

Question: is ketchup a drink? 

Answer: No, ketchup does not belong in the beverage category. 

So looking for someone who doesn’t know what beverage means, I’m going to look up the definition of beverage! 

Google:

Question: what is the definition of beverage?

Answer: the definition of a beverage is a drink, especially one other than water. 

So, if ketchup is not a beverage a beverage is a drink so that means I did it! I, Noah Solovey of Lewes, Delaware have discovered that ketchup is not a smoothie because, in the smoothie definition, it is a smooth drink, and the condiment ketchup does not belong in the beverage category and beverage is a drink!  So ketchup is not a drink making ketchup not a smoothie! (...)! Solved! 

Wait… 

Fayisnazer Fayis holds the world record for the fastest time to DRINK a bottle of ketchup. Well, Fayisnazer, I think you don’t deserve this record because you can’t drink ketchup. So your record is fake! It should be, fastest time to eat the condiment ketchup.