Seventeen years I’ve been alive for 17 years, at times you probably didn't expect to make it this far good thing it never worked out for you.
I wonder what my younger self would think of me now? But honestly children are innocent and have yet to experience any eclipse, causing us to live in an imaginary world. I didn't understand a lot of things when I was younger. Like why people do certain things or take certain drugs if they’re “bad” and hurt you. People will put substances inside their body just for some sort of gratification or just to escape themselves\reality and whether it's a good or bad thing that isn't for me to decide. I told myself I would never do certain things and yet it's ironic how I ended up going against my word, but that promise I made to myself was made before I knew what the real world had in store for me and was shown how things really work. My younger self would be proud of how far I've come. Slowly I've been becoming the person I wish I had as a kid and my attitude has improved for the most part, which made me more understanding of others.
I'm thankful for the walls my adolescent self put up in order for me to feel protected, but now it's time for me to face them and slowly break them down. As those walls tumble to the ground the better I get at understanding myself and heal my younger self allowing me to move forward and strive. I know you don't think it's necessary for the walls to be torn down but as time goes on and they go unchecked the bubble continues to expand and if I don't face you I'll eventually burst.
Honestly I was just wondering about what a younger me would think about me now. I wanted to see how I compare now to how my younger selves thought of me and if I've progressed or stayed stagnant. I also wanted to discover the barriers I might have put up and understand why I did. (I didn’t include specific details due to me cringing at them.)
I'm currently trying to learn how to express certain emotions, but honestly ignoring them is easier.
I like the descriptions of certain things and analyzing his own character as a kid. Along with judging his initial set rules for himself. Reminds me of self improvement, even if the change is thought of something else. All change is self improvement.
--Nicolas Rios