For 17 years I have felt the rush, the panic, and the stress of listening to the chattering of teeth that came from the mob of people placing their orders. When I close my eyes, sometimes I see the card sliding down a long path into the terminal and I hear the ding of the card reader once it's ready to be removed. The rush and adrenaline of having to take multiple orders at once during lunch hour isn't the best feeling.
It was around the year 2008 when we decided to move on and start a new life in a new state. I was just 5 years old when my parents sold my toys, clothes, and furniture to raise money to move to Texas. I didn't understand much about why we were moving. I loved living in Florida, with the clear blue oceans, the soft white sand, and the breeze of the palm trees. However, we were in search of a new life just like many other Hispanic families.
As a kid I always watched my dad work day and night until the bright red sunset in the west. He has worked as an arborist all his life, sawing through the thick brown bark of the trees. Every day he would wake up at the same time, 5 in the morning. I could hear the splash of the water and the footsteps of his boots as he walked down the hall each morning. The jingling of the keys sometimes woke me up, and I would go hug him and tell him to be safe since his job was dangerous. After we moved to Texas everything changed. Every single thing in my life turned around. I was no longer this little 5 year old. I was supposed to be this role model, a teacher, someone to whom my siblings could look up.
My dad wasn't around much during my siblings' childhood. He was always in a different state trying to earn more money for us to have a better life. After he got a DUI and went on probation we lost money. We had to make payments for the machines, the courts, and the classes he was required to take. I had to step up and be a mother-figure at a young age. Both of my parents were working at the time to pay all his probation fees off. The scolding echoing in my head to do better, to be better, wasn't it for me because I, too, needed someone to look up to, but that's just the struggle first generation people go through. My parents always said “ponte las pilas, y estudia para que no andes bajo el sol como nosotros,”which meant “be smart, and study so you won't have to be under the blazing sun like us.”
I wanted to go to quinceaneras, not babysit. I wanted to party, have fun, go out with my friends, but it was always “uno nunca sabe” “you never know,” or “no tienes la edad para salir estas muy chica” “you're not old enough to go out, you're still a little kid.” I had to learn how to cook and clean, even if it was just scrambled eggs or simple refried beans. I had to find a way to feed my siblings with the little skills I had. I know that one day I’ll leave the nest just as a baby bird does once it's ready. I will leave and hopefully be the role model that my parents wished for.
The whole point is to cherish all you have while you have it. You can't take anything for granted because it could all fade like a cloud and vanish into nowhere. My parents did all they could just for us to have everything they didn't have. The extended hours, the money dropping like petals, and the absence have shaped who I am today. I learned how to do many things for myself at a young age and became a responsible young adult.
I wrote this piece to explain a part of my life story, of how I got to where I am today. It shows how my family went through some hardships just like every other immigrant parent. I was inspired to write this piece to let other generations know that at the end of the day whatever your parents say and make you do is worth it.
I really love this memoir because my parents are immigrants as well and I know the struggle of wanting to live my young age, but couldn't. I know what its like to live as an adult at a very young age for my younger siblings and for my parents as well. To see this does bring back memories; like when I had to look after my siblings and learning how to do things that parents would normally. Great piece of work!!!
--Itati Castillo