Subject:
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
Here's a little something to put you in the holiday mood.
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me).
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores
and Office and Town ...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna
Pout, then MAYBE tell you why.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave
to Me
Ø (and then took it all away).
Subject: PEARLS OF WISDOM
FW: pearls of wisdow
To the world you might be one person;
but to one person you might be the world.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger.
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Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of
yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.
*************************************************
A coincidence is when God performs a miracle and decides to
remain anonymous.
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Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the
same side.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot
to the town gossip.
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People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never
cross.
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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to
it.
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Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?
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Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and
sometimes you weep.
*****************************************************
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to
make them all yourself.
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There are two things I have learned: There is a God.
And I'm not Him.
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Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and
men crooked.
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Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach
of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you're
beyond the need of God's grace.
*****************************************************
The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
Ø And all the less important ones just never go away!!
Subject:
Noah's Ark
To:
scssofla@worldnet.att.net, Bertcallhn@aol.com, ET2U@aol.com, SClark3347@aol.com,
MBond2844@aol.com, Ggigold@aol.com, Patidwel@aol.com, Mgehaa@aol.com
All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Noah's Ark:
1. Don't miss the boat.
2. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to
do something REALLY big.
5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done.
6. Build your future on high ground.
7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
8. Two heads are better than one.
9. Speed isn't always an advantage;the snails were on board with the
cheetahs.
10. When you're stressed, float awhile.
11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic was
built by professionals.
12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than the
storm outside.
13. No matter the storm, when you're one with God there's a rainbow
waiting.