Self Help

How to Maintain & Manage Relationships

By Brynn Barachie ‘23

Before I begin, I would like to address that this article is about all kinds of relationships, not just intimate. It includes friendships, co-workers, familial relationships, and just people around you in general such as teachers. Look around and see how you can detect and improve your daily relationships with people.

Relationships can easily be the one of the most meaningful parts of our lives. A lot of us expect or think that effortless relationships exist. Friendships that last forever, or happily ever after marriages, all of us would like to believe that our relationships are based on unconditional love and are strong enough to withstand whatever may or may not come. However, we must realize that relationships take time and effort to keep the relationship strong. As a student, sometimes it’s hard to maintain friendships and/or relationships while having to get good grades, participate in sports as well as clubs while trying to make your parents happy with all of your accomplishments.

Some of us find ourselves losing the point of relationships. Relationships give meaning to our life and are a result of people needing each other for emotional support, psychological well-being, love, and affection. But, unfortunately, not all relationships are good relationships. Some signs that you or someone you know may be in an unhealthy relationship include physical abuse, control, humiliation, pressure and unpredictability. If these signs of unhealthy relationships are happening to you or someone you know it is super important to seek help and stay safe. You can find ideas on how to seek help in my February article “How to Reach Out and Advocate For Yourself”.

On the bright side, there are plenty of good relationships that overrule the bad. Some signs of good relationships include communication, commonalities, respect and trust. But, good relationships don’t just happen, they are constructed over time. The “perfect person” does not exist, but someone who compliments your being as a whole. That is a hard pill to swallow for some including myself, but practicing mindfulness and being aware of the signs can help you along the way.

Ways you can help yourself manage and maintain your relationships as a whole include, speaking up, respecting each other, compromising, being supportive, and respecting privacy. Sometimes it’s hard to be the person to initiate the conversation as to why things aren’t going well, but it is never a bad thing to be the bigger person. While conversing you have to keep in mind that we are all human and that no one is perfect, we say and do things we don’t mean. Maybe you can come to an agreement, or maybe you cannot. In that case, be aware of why it isn’t working, and that some relationships just are not fixable. You do have the courage in yourself to walk away.

Even though you cannot change how your partner is, you can make daily changes to yourself to improve your relationships. Being kind, understanding, and respectful of all people is a great start. Hopefully you will take a step back and analyze your own relationships after reading this article. It is okay that not everything works out, it helps us grow and become stronger!