There was a rustling in the bushes,
That woke me from my sleep...
I wondering what is was,
So I thought I’d take a peep...
Could it be some old prowler,
Come to steal my car...
Or just mongrel dog,
Who has wandered from a far...
I’m not taking any chances,
As I grab my baseball bat...
And ventured out the front,
Prepared to knock him flat...
But as I slowly opened up the door,
A shadowy figure came in to light..
And both us did scream,
In the stillness of the night...
That intruder was my daughter,
She came home rolling drunk...
I could smell the coke and Malibu,
Her breath it really stunk...
Hi Dad she groans out,
I’m home It’s only me...
Can you please get out the way,
I’ve really got to pee...
So back to bed I went,
My mind was set at ease...
That rustling of the bushes
Was my daughter on her knees...
Len Newey 2012