Heartaches by the dozen,
I can say I had my share...
I’m getting a little greyer now,
I need to start and dye my hair...
The aim's not as good on the toilet ,
As I need a front seat row...
I can't last through the night,
As may bladder begins to flow...
My eyeballs are playing tricks on me,
The small prints hard to see...
I've got my share of problems,
What is going wrong with me...
Those names I can’t remember,
It’s embarrassing my friend...
I lost track of my whole family,
The best way is to pretend...
You get a shock when you get out of bed,
And the day is not much clearer...
To only find that you’ve been replaced,
By this old fart in the mirror...
Every day’s a new experience,
As dementia setting in...
All my hair is falling out,
From my tired and wrinkled skin...
The good news is I don’t need dental care,
As my teeth have fallen out...
It may seem that I’m getting a little deaf,
So you’ll probably have to shout...
But don’t go feeling sorry for me,
I’ve had a good old life...
I’m just waiting until it's time,
So I can join my dear old wife...
Len Newey 2012