The Old Timer.
As you get a bit older,
things take a bit more time…
Something you wouldn’t expect,
to a bloke who's in his prime…
Getting dressed is quite dangerous,
As you struggle with your socks…
Then the underpants Olympics,
One leg hopping in your jocks…
You manage to avoid a fall this time,
But then comes that old t shirt…
Blinded beneath the whole damn thing,
Your pride is somewhat hurt…
With that done and dusted,
You prepare yourself a feed…
This digital dilemma you face daily,
From those appliances that you need…
After you finish breakfast,
The next battle of your wits begin…
When you hop in your new car,
To take it for a spin…
Those lights and sounds are amazing,
Two big screens to watch a show…
Just a bit more button pushing,
Before I can get the thing to go…
When I finally left the driveway,
I’m on the open road…
It looks like it can drive itself,
As I flick on auto mode…
At this very moment,
My life flashed before my eyes…
As I travelled at an alarming speed,
Nearly ending in my demise…
Once the blood pressure returned to normal,
And my face wasn’t feeling flush…
I ventured to the shopping centre,
Avoiding the weekday rush…
Someone complained about my parking,
As I used the two for one…
I just nodded and walked away…
It was better than a hit and run…
A nervous time now awaits,
As I grab that grocery cart…
Last time I wrote off the end displays,
At this local supermart…
Anyway, I was in luck,
I managed to avoid a crash...
As I arrived at the self-serve checkout,
With my pockets full of cash…
I must have got all the specials,
Everything seemed so cheap…
As I left the scene in haste,
When those red lights began to beep....
Now I’m in the car again,
Back to the safety of my home...
Another day of survival,
From those places that I roam…
Len Newey 2025