I was at the local pub,
Exchanging stories with my mate...
When he told me how he was traumatized,
Last time he was on a date...
He was in his fifties,
He thought that he was cool...
But this night when he went out,
He was the only fool...
He told me that he came home,
With a lady of the night...
It was later to be revealed,
That something’s just aren’t right...
The room was very dark,
As he grappled at her clothes...
It had been a while between drinks,
As the story goes...
Things were going well,
Until he encountered the wonder bra...
As he undone that little strap,
Then the night got quite bizarre...
Her woman hood fell out,
They nearly hit the bloody floor...
He said this never happened,
To a bloke like him before...
He said he stood and gasped,
He was in disbelief...
As she removed the spandex shorts,
She was wearing underneath...
He said it was surely,
A bloody sight to see...
As she doubled her size before him,
Of what she used to be...
But after she took her gear off,
And got rid of that disguise...
It was then he noticed,
Her lovely little eyes...
It is so true mate,
In what some people say...
Beauty is only skin deep,
And she seemed quite okay...
And now I’m told their married,
He has finally found his mate...
You see it this all just happened,
When he went out on that date...
Len Newey 2014