So, I’ll tell you a little story,
About an aussie day of late…
On a hot and humid day,
We came to celebrate…
As for the entertainment,
For those who dared to come along…
There was a slip n slide out front,
As well as a game they called beer pong…
There was a barbeque to feed the mob,
With rissoles and a bit of steak…
Marinated chicken wings,
And the good old potato bake…
It started out alright,
Innocent enough…
But as the day unfolded,
Things got a little rough…
The beer pong was dead easy,
With a throwing arm like mine…
What could go wrong with this,
I’m sure it will be fine…
But the alcohol was kicking in,
I felt fearless and fancy free…
What harm could a slip and slide do,
To an athletic bloke like me…
I approached it with some caution,
As I watched from far away…
Then good old Neville with one leg,
Seemed to tackle it okay…
So, with a thumbs up from my daughters.
I prepared for my maiden run…
Approaching it with speed,
Like a bullet from a gun…
In the few seconds I was airborne,
I didn’t give it another thought…
What happens when I hit the ground,
I was a human juggernaut…
I landed like an albatross,
As I hit the flamin deck…
It felt like bloody concrete,
I nearly broke my neck…
I lay there winded on the ground,
Cracked ribs and short of breath…
But otherwise, I was feeling good,
I felt I had cheated death…
As for the distance travelled,
I managed a few metres at the best…
The friction burns lay testament,
Up and down my chest…
Yes, it seems the soap ran out,
A dry run is what I had…
They saved the best for last…
For that old bugger they called Dad…
It’s been a few weeks since that tragedy,
I’m definitely on the mend…
All the past is now history,
Until the next time I attend…
So be careful while you’re out,
I’m sure that you’ve been told…
To act your age and not your shoe size,
As it seems we're getting old…
Len Newey 2024