Storyboard examples

Storyboard #1, page 1: The best idea here is to link the camera flash to the flash he sees as he is thinking about his friend's death. It illustrates how the ordinary becomes something else in a vet's mind, because the war isn't over for him. I'd suggest rethinking the order of frames so that the frame where the camera is introduced is in closer proximity to the flash (maybe 2 frames before). I'd also think about making the focus of the camera someone else, so that the poem's speaker is caught off guard because he is not part of the plan. Page 2 of Storyboard #1: I like the idea of shooting from inside the wall (first frame, I think), but that seems to continue and I am not sure why. I also like that you are showing the flashback. Think a little more about how to convey the death in the flashback. You need more sense of place and a clearer visual narrative. Dedicate most of the frames to that.

Storyboard #2 page 1: The instinct to use 4 frames to tell the Johnson story is the right one, but too much happens between the frames here. The Johnson friendship/death spans too much time and so makes no sense in four frames. Narrow to the moment of death or to the memory of loss in the war. page #2: I like the impulse to use so many camera angles and to move between diegetic and non-diegetic sound. I think the choice to slow down and spend time at the wall only is a good one; think more about how you might convey his conflict in such a quiet scene (through costuming, what's reflected in the way, etc.)