Sunday Family Humour 6th September

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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Jewish Mothers

Thanks to Lee

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces,
this you call a smile?"
 
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't
call, you didn't write."
 
MICHELANGELO¹S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the
walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard
it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"
 
NAPOLEON¹S JEWISH MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take
your hand out of your jacket and show me!"
 
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a
baseball cap like the other kids?"
 
THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric
light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to
sleep!"
 
PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young
man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"
 
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done
something with your hair?"
 
MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"Desert, schmesert! Where have you really been
for the last forty years?"
 
BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"
 
BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Well at least she was a Jewish girl, that
Monica."

Outstanding Dolphin Show

Thanks to Bert

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Outstanding Dolphin Show










Dinner Party For Friends

Thanks to Ray O'.
My wife hosted a dinner party for all our  friends, some of whom we hadn't seen for ages, and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as well.
 
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All throughout dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old daughter stared at me as I sat opposite her.   The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.
 
I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, and patted my hair in place; but nothing stopped her from staring at me. I tried my best to just ignore her, but finally it was too much for me.
 
I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
 
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior, and the table went quiet, waiting for her response.
 
The little girl said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish."
 

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Amazing Dog Food Advert

Thanks to Ray O'.

Amazing Dog Food Advert

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Unusual Pet Family

Thanks to Paula M.
31-year-old Luiz Higa Junior of São Paulo, Brazil, tells PetaPixel that his golden retriever, Bob, is a little less than two years old. In the beginning, he just had Bob, a cockatiel and a parakeet.
“Since the beginning I put them together to see their behavior,” he tells us. “It was nice, so I decided to have them play together sometimes during my free time.”
He then added more birds and a hamster to the group, and his Instagram account has been steadily growing in popularity since. Higa’s photos show the group posing, playing, exploring, and resting together.

Unusual Pet 1
 
 
Unusual Pet 2
 
Unusual Pet 3
 
Unusual Pet 4
 
Unusual Pet 5
 
Unusual Pet 6
 
Unusual Pet 7
 
Unusual Pet 8
 
Unusual Pet 9
 
Unusual Pet 10
 
Unusual Pet 11
 

Unusual Pet 12
 
Unusual Pet 13
 
Unusual Pet 15
 
 
Unusual Pet 16
 

How To Get Out Of A Parking Ticket

Thanks to David H.
 Getting a parking ticket can be very annoying.  It is fun to see how British comedian Joe Lycett resolved the situation in a humourous way.

How To Get Out Of A Parking Ticket


The Power Of Words

Thanks to Murray S.

The Power Of Words


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