Sunday Family Humour 22nd February
Sunday Family Humour 22nd February
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Becoming a Monk
Thanks to Connie
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near
a monastery....
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says,
"My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even
fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say,
"We can't tell you because you're not a monk."
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks
down in front of the same monastery.
The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.
That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,
"We can't tell you because you're not a monk."
The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to
become a monk, how do I become a monk?"
The monks reply,
"You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles.
When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later,he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.
He says, "I have travelled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked
for.
There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
The monks reply,
"Congratulations, you are correct, and you are nowconsidere d a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound."
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.
He asks, "May I have the key?"
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone....
The man requests the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the
monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man
had gone through doors of emerald,..........silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, "This is the key to the last door."
The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door,
turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to
find the source of that strange sound.
It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight ..........
..... But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
Iceland
Photographic Proof of a Miracle Of Nature
Thanks to David M.
Ingenious Dozer Loading
An excellent example of Skill
Thanks to David H.
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Rare Weather Phenomenon
Thanks to Steven B
Roses for Rose
Thanks to John C.
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, and he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know.
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."
"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here.
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."
"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop.
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, to take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
and place the roses where we are, together once again."
Just for Chuckles
Thanks to David H.
He had a hat
Thanks to Ray O'.
A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the
water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet
when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes
directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and
the boy is no longer there... he was swept away.
The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: "How could
you do this? Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven't I been a
wonderful mother? Haven't I kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to
charity? Haven't I lit candles every Friday night? Haven't I tried my
very best to live a life that you would be proud of?"
A voice booms from the sky, "All right already!"
A moment later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on
the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there. He is
smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Now are
you satisfied?"
She responds ..."He had a hat."
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