Sunday Family Humour 1st March Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Mature Reflections

Thanks to Lee

The biggest lie I tell myself is ...

"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes;

come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage

to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

Teach your daughter how to shoot,

because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please.

I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes" .

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings.

Not sure what I'll do that

second week.

When did it change from "We the people" to "Screw the people" ?

Even duct tape can't fix stupidity ... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you will just transfer me to

someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Woops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I

came in there for.

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which

means ... chocolate is Salad !!!

76 Trombones

Thanks to David M.

In Anaheim July 4th, 2009, a performance by the Ambassadors

of Harmony from St. Charles (Metropolitan, St. Louis)

Missouri. They scored a 100 out of a 100 for this and

probably would have been given more if that was possible.

No chorus had ever scored 100 in the history of

Barbershop since 1938.

Benson Ford

Thanks to John C.

The "Benson Ford" originally transported iron and coal for the Ford Motor Company.

The ship was decommissioned in 1981 after nearly 50 years of service.

After being decommissioned it was left to rust for four years before the

front part of the ship was removed and perched on top of the 18-foot cliff

above Lake Erie , to serve as a vacation home.

Looking across the bow, you get the feeling that the boat is actually steaming - full speed ahead!

The ship still contains the beautiful wood-paneled state rooms, dining room and lounge designed by Henry Ford.

The boat was used by Henry Ford himself to travel across the Great Lakes .

Thomas Edison was a frequent guest on this beautiful ship.

The present four-deck ship-house has an area of 7,000 sq. ft. and includes

walnut-paneled staterooms, a dining room with galley, and passenger

lounge designed by Henry Ford for his own personal use, while on board.

The ship-house was originally owned by Frank J. Sullivan, but after trying

and failing to turn it into a hotel in 1992, Sullivan eventually auctioned

the building to father and son Jerry and Bryan Kaspar,

who still enjoy relaxing there while taking time off from work.

It has now been modernized with a garage, a game room, a bar, a state-of-the-art kitchen, and four bathrooms.

The 90-year-old cargo ship is beautiful, as she sits there looking out over her former waterways.

Don't look down - visitors may need a head for heights if they take a

tour out onto the bow of the boat and see the water way down below.

This ship-home has maintained the historic and beautiful interior, which has been updated with modern amenities.

Bryan Kaspar said:

"Everyone who sees our home from the outside, is intrigued to look inside.

And, I think everyone who sees this beauty, is amazed at the gorgeous woodwork throughout our beautiful ship-home."

This impressive getaway is large, as it includes five bedrooms, four bathrooms,

a captain's office and living room with panoramic views out across Lake Erie .

'I love the deck on the fourth floor. It's a great place to enjoy a cocktail

overlooking the lake and the nearby cliffs, and to watch the sunsets is amazing from there.'

Videographer Nick James, who conducts tours of the home, said,

'The most incredible part is standing at the helm with the way

the boat hangs over the cliff. It actually feels like you are out on the open water.'

I love the history that remains all around the Benson Ford.

In the parlor, you can just imagine Thomas Edison and Henry Ford sitting there puffing on their cigars.'

When you're there, it feels as though you are stepping back in time,

and that those two famed gentlemen could appear at any moment.'

An incredible beauty of a long-ago ship, still available for water lovers to see.

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Thai Space Program

Thanks to Paul S.

Anyone For Chocolate

Thanks to Bert

Like some chocolate

Zack King - Magician

Thanks to John C.

Brian's Fails

Thanks to Brian M.

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