Sunday Family Humour 20th September Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Longing

Thanks to Lee

by Julie Cadwallader

Consider the blackpoll warbler.

She tips the scales at one ounce before she migrates, taking off from the seacoast to our east flying higher and higher ascending two or three miles during her eighty hours of flight until she lands in Tobago, north of Venezuela, three days older, and weighing half as much.

She flies over open ocean almost the whole way.

Oh she is not so different from us.

The arc of our lives is a mystery too.

We do not understand, we cannot see what guides us on our way: that longing that pulls us toward light.

Not knowing, we fly onward hearing the dull roar of the waves below.

Chippendale's Towel Dance

Thanks to Ray O'.

(3.55 mins)

Flashes From The Past

Thanks to John C.

Flashes From The Past

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Aphorisms

Thanks to Lee

APHORISMS FOR THE YEAR...

it's not whether you win or lose,

But how you place the blame.

We have enough "youth".

How about a fountain of "smart"?

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun , do they know it?

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENT'S MISTAKES- - USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything,

But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don't succeed,

Skydiving is not for you

We are born naked, wet and hungry.

Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you

Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers

Give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge

To produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:

At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO

MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that

Three out of four people make

Up 75% of the population

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,

You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could

Identify their corporate sponsors."

Amazing Billiard Tricks

Thanks to Ray O'.

If you enjoy Billiards.....This man is truly Amazing..

Florian Kohler (aka Venom) was born in France in 1988, speaks 3 languages, is a licensed Optometrist

and he holds a black belt in Judo.

He is also a pool phenomenon, redefining the sport of "trick shot pool" through a combination of artistry

and breathtaking skill.

Recorded during a tour in Germany.

4.26 mins

Stress Reducing Photos

Thanks to Paula M.

I Never Knew

Thanks to David H.

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling.

'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed inVietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student.

She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her.

'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked.

She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon.

Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times, ' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And One Way to Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful.

If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.

If you're 'too busy' to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about.

Remember, you reap what you sow.

What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

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