Sunday Family Humour 23rd August

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Laugh For The Day

Thanks to Paula M.

HELLO, OPERATOR

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND

REPRODUCE!!

Actual call center conversations!

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'

Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'

Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'

Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I

am traveling in Australia ?'

Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label --Woven in Scotland ....'

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a

phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm

steaming up the window to write the number on.'

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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer: 'OK.'

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up

until this point?'

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

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Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,

can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I

need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my

file back again?'

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..............

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and leaned way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle --it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it backto the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

The Black Dot

Thanks to, Paula M.

Papa's Car

Thanks to David H.

Papas car

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Thomas Fats Waller

Thanks to David M.

A piano stylist, composer, and entertainer second to none there was only one Thomas 'Fats' Waller.

The slick innovative stride pianist was responsible for hundreds of songs and instrumental compositions,

and made numerous appearances on film in the '30s and early 1940s.

In celebration of his astounding artistic achievements 20sJazz presents Fats Waller performing in his most

memorable role on the silver screen.

David M's Gallery

Thanks to David M.

Clever Art

Thanks to David H.

Clever Art

Clever Words for Clever People

Thanks to Spike

1. ARBITRATOR

A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s

2. BERNADETTE

The act of torching a mortgage.

3. BURGLARIZE

What a crook sees through

4. AVOIDABLE

What a bullfighter tries to do

5. EYEDROPPER

Clumsy ophthalmologist

6. CONTROL

A short, ugly inmate.

7. COUNTERFEITER

Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

8. ECLIPSE

What an English barber does for a living.

9. LEFT BANK

What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.

10. HEROES

What a man in a boat does

11. PARASITES

What you see from the Eiffel Tower

12. PARADOX

Two physicians

13. PHARMACIST

A helper on a farm

14. POLARIZE

What penguins see through

15. PRIMATE

Remove your spouse from in front of the TV

16. RELIEF

What trees do in the spring

17. RUBBERNECK

What you do to relax your wife

18. SELFISH

What the owner of a seafood store does

19. SUDAFED

Brought litigation against a government official

20. PARADIGMS

Twenty cents

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