You be proud members of the stomache-belly tribe. Your tribe under Queen FireBelch headed for new lands with promise of a better life and a new god who wanted to put Monsters into power. The priests told tales of rich mines waiting to be tapped abandoned by the dwarves. (Stupid dirt fairies) There were promise that goblin children could grow up with luxuries no goblin parent ever had. But after many days of travel it was found that the new land required hard work before this wealth would be had. Thus the Queen was deposed and a much more sensible leader rose up. Weeks came and went and visitors from far away came to speak with the tribe. There were kobolds, sea folk, and others but even as leaders came and went the goblin way of life stayed the same albeit in a new place.
You hunt anything you can catch. You fight among yourselves. And thus you were not ready when the summons came. Chief Gurglemuck (who recently replaced Queen Earscreetch after she choked on a bone and her head fell off when Gurgle was helping her recover). Gurgle the paranoid wants to see you in his hut. Right now.
Cap
Summary : Compulsive liar
Skill- Bluff+4
Quirk- Almost never tells truth
Song- Cap tells stories always good, but count your fingers or they’ll be food. For cap would eat them if he could. but Cap be not a lyre.
Herdy
Summary : One-upman
Skill- Acrobatics+4
Quirk- exaggerates wildly. Loves to be center of attention.
Song- Herdy stories even better. You know him as the go getter. He will someday be big chief. So grovel now before his feet.
Newt
Summary : Toadie.
Skill- Survival +4
Quirk- Encourage those he follows whenever they act in a treasonous direction.
Song- Newt likes stories and likes lunch. But likes friend a whole bunch. Newt will be your number two. Where you go Newt sticks by you.
Meanie
Summary : Know it all
Skill- Knowledge+4 (local)
Quirk- Thinks she has all knowledge skills not just one.
Song- Meanie can tell you a thing or two. Meanie knows just what to do. Cause meanie smart unlike you. But meanie still hates letters.
Stump
Summary: Acts really dumb, but is quite sharp, just hides it well. Member of goblin secret police.
Skill- Intimidate+4, Knowledge(Religion)+4, Ride+4
Quirk- Uses only single syllable words so he sounds stupid. Born again Besmirian follower.
Song- Stump strong like stump of tree. That be enough for me
Purty Badcook
Summary : Cutest goblin in tribe but worst cook ever.
Skill- Profession Cook -8, Heal+4, Knowledge nature+4
Quirk- Cooks everything she can lay her hands on. But a goblin can only eat it if they succeed on a Fort 12.
Song- Purty not here for you to look. Purty here because she cooks. She dice she spice and spice some more. But when you eat you hit the floor.
Curdle
Summary : Craven tattletail
Skill- Stealth+4
Quirk- phobias, lots of them.
Song- Curdle is no threat at all. If you push him he will bawl. But if you do curdle will recall. And someday you regret it.
Moonbeam
Summary : Poet, tortured artist, ingests anything he can for "inspiration"
Skill- Perform+4.
Quirk- +4 on fort saves to ingested substances.
Song- Moonbeam digs things like loot and stuff. But carrying it is really rough. But sing and rhyme is like his skill. And rhyme his words he always will.
Goblin Dog
Summary : Like a rat but with bad hygine
Skill- Lick sell inappropriately then immediately lick persons face as a free action
Quirk- Eat anything not made of metal. Will not eat anything Purty cooks.
Song- Yip yip snuffle slurp. Chomp chomp gobble burp.
A group of three troublesome goblins were summoned to the leader's tent. The group consists of Cap (a compulsive liar), Herdy (braggart), and Newt (treasonous sycophant). Due to confusion as to where the kings tent actually is located Cap and Newt instead went to a brothel and announced that they were there for their appointment with the king. Somehow managing to escape unscathed yet leaving a trail of bodies behind them they finally arrive at the leader's tent only to find that Herdy has gone in without them poisoning the guards in the process.
Cap and Newt eventually talk their way in past the sickened guards but after getting in to the waiting room they learn that Herdy has bribed her way in to the kings chamber already while they have nothing to offer as bribes. So they show a bit of goblin initiative and jump the sickened guards waiting outside the tent taking their equipment as gifts to the king. Much treason later someone actually wakes the king who addled from sleep mistakes Cap for "the Captain" and tells him a group of traitorous scum is coming over this morning and the Captain should deal with them as he sees fit but he should then organize an expedition to fetch the King a new pillow and some powerful spirits from the nearby human settlement.
Cap tells the king they will jump to immediately and turns and goes out of the tent to the two unconscious guards. Whom he immediately scalps and then returns telling the king that the of the traitors have been caught and that an expedition will be formed to catch the one that got away.
The group manages to hoodwink some gear and to make their getaway they steal a giant pig. Lacking a saddle the group procede to glue themselves onto the pig before inducing it to trample its way through camp and out through the camp wall. This works well until they almost manage to ride off of a cliff. Luckily Herdy attempts to leap to safety but fails miserably dooming herself but pushing the others back enough to save them from plummeting to their doom below.
At the base of the cliff is a Besmirian camp which the party head to to find food, a pillow, or just in the hopes of finding a way to avoid the goblin war parties on their heals ever since the group crashed out of the goblin camp. At the Besmirian camp there is a goblin messenger named Meanie whom they impress with tales of the important mission they are on for the king. They say the mission is far to important to tell Meanie about and fascinated Meanie attaches herself to the entourage since her mission was way less important pertaining to some diplomatic proclamation or something Meanie had already forgotten when she saw the goblin plummet into camp from above.
In the bearded camp Cap tells the guards the group is on important business from the king. The group take the opportunity to eat everything they can lay their hands on and are eventually introduced to the leader - Lady Amalia. They tell her that the goblin king send to group to be envoys to the Besmiran encampment and that the king only requests a pillow and soem strong spirits as a token of respect in return. Amalia is excited to have goblins volunteer to help as the lack of goblin participation in the capture of the Dwarven citadel is the reason why it has taken so long. Amalia says a kobold group was expected back recently but is overdue and asks the goblins to go see if they can find out what happened to the kobolds. Cap checks to make sure that the Citadel is away from the goblin camp and then says that the group will be happy to go as soon as they can pry their mount out of the mess tent it has ensconced itself in.
The group then proceeds to get lost and stumble back towards the goblin camp. Fortunately they run into the mad goblin alchemist before they reach camp and when told of their important mission from the king to work with the Besmirans they convince him to give them several impressive implements of goblin power. Such as the vial of Kablewie, or the magic Hankie. He then points out that the Citadel was back the way the group came. By now the group is really hungry and so they get out in search for food. Soon they find a rind of mushrooms which they proceed to eat much to the dismay of the brownies living under them. The goblins take cover behind the pig who is still with them and when the pig is shot full of sleep arrows the party push it over onto the brownie camp killing most of the brownies, the pig, and poor Cap who was still glued to the damn thing.
Faced with a nigh insurmountable pile of pig and mushrooms the party makes camp and eat heartily for several hours gaining groupies in the process. A mystic goblin named moonbeam shows up lead there by the smell of roasting pig and mushrooms. With his help the party finish eating the remains and waddle off in the direction of the citadel for reasons most of them no longer even recall.
The group soon encounter a clearing containing several mauled bodies and half a dozen goblin dogs. Moonbeam goes forward to lure the dogs away using bits of leftover pig but in true goblin fashion others get bored with the plan and decide to shoot at the dogs from across the clearing. This causes them to turn on the hapless Moonbeam but in the ensuring slaughter there is a tinkle of glass breaking right before the entire clearing is engulfed in fire leaving a bunch of charred remains Newt and Meanie with no eyebrows and a single goblin dog. The two sides band together and eat the BBQ because it had been almost an hour since the pig was eaten. (Fin fact goblins eat more than their weight in food each day)
More hi-jinks ensued on the way to the Citadel. The group picked up two new goblins at some point Curdle and Stump. Curdle is rather craven. While stump is only slightly more intelligent looking than his namesake. But perfectly happy to follow orders. So the group order everyone to head to the Citadel for the important mission which only Newt recalls is a farce. Near the citadel the group sees a kobold picking its way through the rubble and move to engage but find themselves caught in an ambush by magically concealed dwarven slavers lying in wait for the kobold. The dwarves are dressed in gear that is far better and the battle quickly turns south. The goblins run for freedom but are herded closer and closer to the citadel by their pursuers. Newt attempts to use the magic hankie and again fails but another goblin (Stump oddly enough) calls out the proper Draconic command word causing a magic wall to appear crushing Newt and giving Stump enough time to round up Meanie and get out of there.
They make their way back to the Besmirian camp safely. It turns out Stump is a member of the goblin secret police. He was looking for the escaped traitors and their allies. He charges Meanie as a collaborator but Lady Amalia intercedes on Meanie's behalf telling Stump that Meanie was waiting at the Besmirian camp long before the traitor arrived and recruited her. Besides lady Amalia feels Meanie's experience will valuable of there is another expedition Stump who turns out to be a worshiper of Besmira grants Lady Amalia her wish takes back work of the party's elimination and of the Dwarven slavers to the goblin camp.
Fin