The Happy Resort

So Cleethorpes is in the top ten of the country’s happiness stakes. Of course it is –we’ve known that for a long time. In 1936 the Cleethorpes annual guide called the resort ‘the town of happiness and sunshine’. Even the happiness of your feet was of the concern and the guide posed the question: ‘Are Your Feet Happy’? If not, they could be happified in the resort by having your shoes ‘fitted scientifically’ with the help of X-rays. 

The guide went on to list ‘Twelve Reasons Why You Should Live at Cleethorpes’. The list is reproduced below (click on 'Twelve Reasons.jpg'), so that you can see what gave happiness in the 1930s. Let’s look down the list.

Firstly, the claim to having a ‘low mortality rate’. The six funeral directors in the town who vied for the custom of your loved one would probably not see this as a reason for their unqualified joy.

And what about the ‘exceptionally high sunshine record’ and the ‘equable climate’. Well, in 1935 the town boasted of 1664 hours of sunshine and only 26 ‘cubic inches’ of rain – does anybody know how that compares with the present day?

‘The superior range of villas and residences moderately priced’ in 1935 included ‘Best Built Houses’ on the ‘New Brereton Avenue Estate’ costing from £375 to £575. Alternatively, you could rent a house in Brereton Avenue for nine shillings a week. But if you had aspired to a villa on Queens Parade in 1928, the rental was more than twice as much – a staggering £45 a year.

‘An exceptionally moderate cost of living’? Well, the local electricity company was reducing (yes reducing) its charges in 1936. The gas company retaliated by declaring that ‘Gas is light on your pocket’.

Living costs could also be kept down if you took the tram to Freeman Street where Oldroyds would sell you a pair of hard-wearing flannelette blankets for three shillings and eleven pence. Womersley & Stamp on Cleethorpe Road would let you have a fully sprung three-piece suite in Rexine for four pounds ten shillings. Sixpence would get you into Blundell Park to see Grimsby Town Reserves vs. Notts County Reserves. Boys paid only three pence admission – no mention of girls.

As for the ‘high class entertainments’ on the list – you could see the flicks at Theatre Royal and the Empire. Or trip the light fantastic at the Pier Pavilion and the Café Dansant – being careful not to trip yourself up with your wide-legged ‘Oxford bags’. Then you could watch the annual Cleethorpes Musical Festival, which had 1600 entries in 1935. Other entertainment was watching the toffed-up young folk doing their ‘Monkeys Parade’ along the resort’s promendades.

Next we come to the town’s ‘hospitable inhabitants and friendly social spirit’ – of course! Except that you may have to pay extra for the use of the cruet at your ‘hospitable’ boarding house.

Advancing to the ‘beauty and interest’ of the surrounding area, offerings included a carriage drive along the beautifully rural Humberston Avenue or a bus tour through the fine scenery of the nearby countryside.

‘Excellent shopping’? – well, Houghton’s ironmongery and china store in St Peter’s Avenue was the place for ‘dainty and useful presents’. Burton’s in Sea View Street offered a large selection of flannels and sports shirts in all colours. Mackrill’s, also in Sea View Street, sold fine shoes designed by experts. By now you might be suffering from retail therapy stress so you could pop into Werge Bros. on Grimsby Road and pay one shilling and three pence for ‘Forresters Ferric Foods, the World’s best remedy for all Nervous Weakness, Anaemia and Nervous Worry’.

Pressing on, I don’t see how being the ‘nearest resort to industrial England’, was a reason for living in Cleethorpes but it certainly made the resort attractive to residents of those smoke-begrimed areas. They could come here and experience our happiness –and take a bit back for sharing.

Nearing the end of the list we have ‘Good train and travel services’. They made it easier to get out of the town. But hold on, you don’t want to do that because you’d lose out on our happiness. However, the train would also make it easier to get back from less happy areas, such as Leeds (ten shillings return) or Sheffield (twelve shillings and three pence return).

And then we come to the final one of our Twelve Reasons – 1st Division Football. Sorry to mention it lads – but you can always dream.

So while the lads (and lasses) dream – and have a quiet weep – we’ll say a cheerful cheerio to the optimistic Cleethorpes of 1936 – from the happy Cleethorpes of 2008 – The Happy Resort (hey, that’s a good slogan!)

© Alan Dowling 2008

Published initially in the Cleethorpes Chronicle, 11th September 2008.

Not to be reprinted without the permission of the author