ALL feelings are OK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BhtBECPHNc&list=PL44AB-oA0LsmD3fYiuw4XB3DtUA6e885a
Books to Explore: https://sites.google.com/site/mrsbroam/home/books/feelings
Feelings Wheel Strategies:
Draw or write about it.
Take a deep breath.
Think about the problem in a different way.
Tell someone.
Listen to music or sing a song.
Think about or do something you enjoy.
With each of these choices, (1) Nobody Gets Hurt (2) Nothing Gets Broken
Naturally Slim's Important Thoughts on Feelings:
Feelings are energy in motion.
Feelings will tell you when you need to take action, when your wants and needs are not getting met, when you need to examine your reactions, and when you need to get closure.
Feelings just want recognition and the don't necessarily have to be fixed.
Four Basic Feelings:
mad, sad, glad, scared
Practice vocabulary to describe your feelings in a more specific way. For example, when you are mad, are you feeling annoyed or furious?
handle your anger
stop and think before you say or do anything
figure out why you feel the feeling
talk to a trusted grown-up
*No harm to others, self or stuff*
Calm DOWN and Cheer UP
MOOOve your body--ride bikes, play a sport, dance to a song
write or draw
deep breaths -- Breathing is a great option because it doesn't cost anything, you don't need any help to do it, and you don't need a lot of space or special equipment! Here's a list of many ways to take a deep, calming breath: https://sites.google.com/site/mrsbroam/home/breathing
think about a happy memory
play with sand
squeeze a toy really hard
share feelings with an adult you trust
find a quiet spot to read your favorite gook
say a prayer
go on a swing
listen to your favorite music
blow bubbles
drink water
smell lavender or green apple
squeeze play dough very hard
go for a run
pat a furry friend
hug a tree
build a tower and knock it down
Pick six ideas and assign them a number. Roll the dice and practice these six ideas!
What to Do with Worries
Take a Deep Breath--when you exhale, blow out the worries into a balloon. Then pretend to tie off the balloon and let the worries float away.
Worry Box--put the worries inside a box and leave them there.
Worry Journal--write down your worries or capture them in a drawing.
Worry Time--pick a time of day to be your "worry time," maybe a family time like 7:45-8:00 pm? Save your worrying for that 15 minutes. When a worry pops up, tell yourself it's not the time to worry.
Talk to Your Worries--"Go Away!" "Leave Me Alone!" "SCRAM!" Do not let the Worries take control.
Have a Phrase to Repeat--a mantra, several words repeated over and again to bring you comfort: "I am brave." "I can do hard things." "I am stronger than I know." Talk to your family about words that might work for your. Sometimes scripture or something from your faith teachings makes a good mantra.
Here's some more tips for what to do with worries:
imagine it away
pack it in a suitcase and send it packing
stand it in the corner
do something else
write a story
play with a friend
bake a cake
face the worry and see if it makes any sense
think another thought
remember a good time you have had
replace a worry with a happy thought
talk to someone about your worries (video chat??!)
reset your system with relaxation exercises
Move worries one shade of color at a time ~ color tiles or paint chips may help visualize this process.
Keep a good balance ~ the Topple game is great to illustrate this concept. The idea is to win the game by NOT toppling!
Worries and other uncomfortable feelings are inevitable, but a good plan can help you manage them well.
Worried about worry?
http://idealistmom.com/calm-anxious-kid/
Books to Discuss Worries:
Back to School Tortoise by Lucy M. George
The Don't Worry Book by Todd Parr
I'm Worried by Michael Ian Black
Is a Worry Worrying You? by Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz
My Mixed Emotions: Help Your Kids Handle Their Feelings by Elinor Greenwood
Shy Spaghetti and Excited Eggs: A Kid's Menu of Feelings by Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata
Stress Relief for Kids: Taming Your Dragons by Martha Belknap
Visiting Feelings by Lauren Rubenstein
The Watermelon Seed by Greg Pizzoli
What to Do When Your Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner, Ph.D.
More Books to explore feelings
Grief: I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I know how much your family loves your four-footed friends! Your daughter sounds like she's grieving. The feelings accompanying loss are uncomfortable and unpleasant. This may be the first time she's experienced such a deep grief? I think assuring her it's okay to hurt and feel yucky about it, just holding space for it, is what is best. It's not okay to work her anger (1) where somebody gets hurt or (2) something gets broken. She can breathe, draw, write, talk, yoga, listen to music, or work it out in another way where (1) nobody gets hurt and (2) nothing gets broken (she knows those phrases for problem solving and managing unpleasant or BIG feelings). The book Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant is always a good conversation starter, and Mo Willems' City Dog, Country Frog is too (you wouldn't think the author of the Elephant & Piggie books could be serious, but it's a really good read for loss). As hard as this is, know it's a good thing for her to work through this as a young one. Research shows when kiddos work well through the loss of a pet, they are more prepared and resilient when they lose someone they love later in life. I know that sounds a little dark, but death is a part of life, and it's important to recognize, gently, it being so. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. In our friendship small group this spring, we discussed death is OUTSIDE our Circle of Control, and so all we CAN do is respond to it, and try to do our best with how we do that.