Sunday Humour 27th February

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Glasgow Boys join Ferrari

Thanks to Ray O'.

"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Glasgow youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Castlemilk were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the Glasgow pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.

Incidents

Thanks to David H.

Google Presentation

"How much closer do you want me?"

Thanks to Peter D.

As requested, a British Royal Air Force pilot in a Eurofighter flies up to the back door of a C-130 Herculesa for a photo op.

He radios, "How much closer do you want me?"

They radio, "How much closer can you get?"

Pilot Radios, ”Close enough?”

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Australian Toyota advert

Thanks to Butch

You can't park there mate

Thanks to Blain

Google Presentation

Police pursuit

Thanks to Paul S.

Melinda's Debutante Ball

Thanks to Ray.

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first

evening, the ship's captain received the following note from the wife of a

wealthy plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball. I would

like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their

formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00

PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be

excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies.

One last point: No Jews Please."

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the

door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling

Black officers.

Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, "There must be

some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes."

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