Sunday Family Humour 21st August

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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SUMBICH!

Thanks to Bill S.

A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing,

eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said,

'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool

and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash.

Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its rear!

Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds,

biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere.

Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'No, that's okay. I don't want It,' said Leroy.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something you won the bet.

How about half a million bucks then?'

No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something.

That was amazing.

How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'

Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'

First Super Bus

Thanks to David H.

Received in Dubai for

Traveling from Dubai to Abu Dhabi

Speed 250 Km/hr

Electric Superbus tours Abu Dhabi and Dubai

The Dutch-built Superbus was shown to the media at Masdar City in Abu Dhabi a few days ago. Fully electric and designed to be capable of 250 kph while carrying 23 passengers, it is being pitched as the next-generation solution to the Dubai-Abu Dhabi commute.

From what we saw, the Superbus is far from ready for prime time. All we got to see was the Superbus doing 25 kph on deserted roads, as we rode alongside in a minivan, because no one was allowed to ride it yet due to insurance limitations. Still under testing, the best speed the prototype has managed so far is 140 kph, and the practicality of the design also has much to be desired. Aside from the thin carbon-fiber doors that seem to have no sound insulation, look at the cramped space through which passengers would have to stumble in and out at stops. Even by the Dutch outfit’s own admission, the Superbus is still four years away from being road-ready, let alone in service.

The original idea is sound, however. Apparently there is a second highway planned between Dubai and Abu Dhabi to reduce congestion. This highway could integrate a special high-speed lane to accommodate the 250 kph Superbus, which would cut down the commute to 30 minutes for businessmen willing to pay, while also dropping them off at designated bus stops around the cities.

It is also potentially environmentally-friendly, as the Superbus was charged in Masdar City using energy from their own solar-panel farm. Indeed, Masdar City was the real surprise of the day. Designed to be a “green” city within Abu Dhabi , all the street lamps there were solar-powered, while we were ferried around partly in Mitsubishi i-MiEV electric cars. The city, as well the environmental institute within it, are still under construction.

A Ride in Space

Thanks to Paul S.

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How to protect your password

Important Security Information

Thanks to Jane MacR.

This is real serious stuff - take note

Given the current climate re: concerns for computer and data security, I suggest you take this message seriously. This is for your own safety and security!

If your workplace has been assessed and determined to be at a low level of risk,

the following method is recommended to ensure no one can see your passwords or what you're typing:

For a moderate level of risk, this method ensures no one can see your passwords,

what you're typing, or which website you're visiting.....

For a high level of risk, this method ensures ultimate security:

Be safe out there people!

PS. Anyone who can knit, here is a new business opportunity!

Take it to the shops with you when using your debit/credit card..... lol

Helicopter landing

Thanks to Tony H.

Reclining Cats

Thanks to Ray M.

BOTTLE OF WINE

Thanks to Tony H.

For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married,

this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in Northern Arizona ,

when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the Indian got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Fred tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo man.

The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw,

studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Fred.

"What in bag?" asked the old man.

Fred looked down at the brown bag and said: "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The Navajo man was silent for another moment or two.

Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said:

"Good trade . . .."

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