Sunday Family Humour 28th November

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors

Page 1 Newsweek

The Ritual

Thanks to Ray O'P.

I don't know how many of you are familiar with this historical event,

but you soon will be!!!

Every time a new Pope is elected, there are many rituals in accordance

with tradition.

Well, there is one tradition that very few people know about.

Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi of Rome seeks

an audience.

He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he

presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion.

On top of the cushion is an ancient, shrivelled envelope.

The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.

The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does

not return until the next Pope is elected.

A new Pope's reign was shortly followed by a new Chief Rabbi.

He was intrigued by this ritual, and that its origins were unknown to him.

He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they

came up with nothing.

When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown

into his presence,

they faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but,

as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave,

His Holiness calls him back.

"My brother," the Pope whispers,

"I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between

us and you, the representative of the Jewish people.

I have to ask you, what is it all about?"

The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies:

"But we have no more idea than you do.

The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history."

The Pope said: "Let us retire to my private chambers and

enjoy a glass of kosher wine together;

then with your agreement,

we shall open the envelope and discover the secret at last."

The Chief Rabbi agrees.

Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the

curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief Rabbi

reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.

As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opens it.

They both gasped with shock -

It is the caterer's bill for the Last Supper.

Curiousities

Thanks to Capt. Bob

Google Presentation

Cartoons - ouch!

Thanks to Paul S.

Mothers in colour

Thanks to Paul S.

Google Presentation

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When Grandma goes to court

Thanks to Alex

Dementia Test

Thanks to Ray O'P.

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.

As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert.

If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test.

Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..

Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???

If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4 Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to

Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus.

In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.

In Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on.

In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.

In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.

You then arrive at Milford Haven ..

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own age?

It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

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