Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
Thanks to Bill S.
A refuse collector is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer.
Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Japanese man comes to the door.
"Harro!" says the Japanese man.
"Gudday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.
"I bin on toiret," explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the little foreign fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again. "No ! no ! mate, where's your dust bin?"
"I dust been to toiret, I tor you!'' says the Japanese man, still perplexed.
"Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me.
Where's your 'w h e e l i e' bin?'"
"OK, OK." replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin, and whispers in the collector's ear.....
"I wheelie bin having sex wirra wife's sista!"
Thanks to Ray O'.
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right
You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores
Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like Government Bonds
.... They take soooooooo long to mature.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
You never know when they're coming, how many
inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
All the good ones are ta ken , the rest are
send this to all the remarkable women you know,
as well as to any understanding good-natured,
fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know
You have just been KISSED by the
Dancing Baby! something good will happen to you
at 1:00-4:00 pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere
Get ready for the biggest shock in your life if
you break this you will not be cursed but good
luck will not come your way for the next year
Thanks to Larry
1. Men are like Laxatives
They irritate the crap out of you.
2
Thanks to Butch
Thanks to Ray O'.
Thanks to Tony H.
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Thanks to Ray O'.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
This guy stands in the water and waits until the last sec to snap his camera shutter then takes a beating when the wave collapses over him.-----
Waimea Bay shore-break surfing pioneer, husband, and father of two, Clark Little has gained nationwide recognition for his photography on National Television..
It all started in 2007 when Clark 's wife wanted a nice piece of art to decorate a wall.
Voluntarily, Clark grabbed a camera, jumped in the water, and starting snapping away capturing the beauty and power of monstrous Hawaiian waves from the inside out.
" Clark 's view" is a unique view of the ocean that most will only
be able to experience safely on land while studying one of Clark 's photos.
Now with a camera upgrade and an itch to get that better shot, Clark has taken this on full time and has moved his office from land, to the inside of a barrel.
Since the recent stir of Clark 's work, his images have been run
on the Today Show, ABC World News Now, Nature's Best Photography, Paris Match(France), La Vie ( France ), Hana Hou (Hawaiian Airlines) magazine, Surfer magazine, Surfer's Journal
as well as multiple publishers and newspapers in the U.S. and overseas.
These incredible images of waves in the Hawaiian Islands were taken by Clark Little, the number one photographer of surf.
He is dedicated to photographing the waves and has published a selection of his best
Sun glints off wave
Sand in surf
This shot captures sand from the ocean's floor being swept up by a monstrous wave and resembles a sandstorm.
Little calls it the Sand monster.
There were clouds of sand ten feet high and I'm standing there. I'm holding on to my camera and my trigger as long as I can.
Then I have to jump into the cloud of sand to try to get out of danger's way.
His fans pay as much as $4,000 for his gorgeous photos.
Tubular shining
Clark Little/SWNS
Beach - surf crashes down
Clark Little/SWNS
Molten liquid gold
White tumultuous water
Splash - stunning shot
Red mysterious shot
Break - wave crashes down
Beauty - water drops
Clark Little/SWNS
This shot is his favorite.
With a high shutter speed he caught the brilliant fanned effect of two waves intersecting each other and throwing out this beautiful fan of water.
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