Sunday Family Humour 21st August Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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As Told by Hilary

Thanks to Mark G.

Finally, the true story as told by Hilary to world leaders....

Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon.

The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice.

Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse. By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.

He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees.

As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook."

Honestly, that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

When Your Dog is Your Best Friend

Thanks to Ray M.

Donald & Daisy

Thanks to Peter D.

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms..

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"

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A Different Landing

Thanks to David H.

"Out of Airspeed, Altitude and Ideas".....all at the same time!!! But not out of luck!!

What artists do if given wire and household objects

Thanks to Tony H.

Hash House Harriers

The Hash House Harriers (abbreviated to HHH, H3, or referred to simply as Hashing)

is an international group of non-competitive running, social and drinking clubs, whose organisation and management sets a perfect example for the new earth government.

This new type of government is known as "drinking-club-with-running-problem mentality", and is now preferred by more hashers than the "power-club-with-paranoia mentality" that runs our governments

harriermagazine.com

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