Sunday Family Humour 2nd Jan 2011 Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A Little Christmas Story

Thanks to Bill C.

When four of Santa's elves fell sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, & Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer he found that three of them were about to give birth & two others had jumped the fence and were out - heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground & all the toys were smashed. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider & a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider & hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug & it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom & found mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang & an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open & there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very blissfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Not a lot of people know this!

Europa 2015

Thanks to Tony H.

Google Presentation

Traffic Clearance in India

Thanks to Tony H.

Airplanes

Thanks to Tony H.

Google Presentation

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The New Alphabet

Thanks to Tony H.

New Alphabet :

A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now The

Alphabet:

A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!