Sunday Family Humour 6th February 2011

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

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The Tickle Me Elmo factory

Blame Ray O', not me!

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.

The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory

and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.

The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up,

putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself,

so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.

When they get there the line is so backed up

that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor

and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena

surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric,

wraps it around two marbles

and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.

After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena ...

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,

'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Buy, Buy, American Pie

Thanks toTony

The Story of Two Pebbles

Thanks to Ray O'.

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Rare Clip ---- Beatles In Studio - 1969

Thanks to Paul S.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides

that after their wedding she and Roger should

have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned

that her new but aged husband

may over-exert himself if they spend the entire

night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares

Herself for bed and the expected knock

on the door. Sure enough the knock comes,

the door opens and there is Roger, her 85

year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes

leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another

knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger,

Again he is ready for more 'action'.

Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents

for more coupling. When the newly-weds are done,

Roger kisses his bride, bids her

a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha,

you guessed it---- Roger is back again,

rapping on the door and is as fresh as a

25-year-old, ready for more 'action'.

And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again,

his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly

impressed that at your age you can perform

so well and so often. I have been with

guys less than a third of your age who were

only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to

Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'

The moral of the story:

Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.

PS.. Have I sent this to you already ? ?

Newly Weds

Thanks to Ray O'.

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Hand Dancing

Thanks to Paul S.

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