Sunday Family Humour 18th September

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour


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The Hormone Guide

Thanks to Ray O'.

Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!


Every woman knows that there are days when all a man [or anyone else!] has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands!

This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS

SAFER

SAFEST

ULTRA  SAFE

What's for
dinner?

Can I help you
with dinner?

Where would you like
to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.

Are you
wearing that?

You sure
look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine

What are you
so worked up about?

Could we be
overreacting?

Here's my pay check.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be
eating that?

You know, there are
a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a piece
of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

What did you
DO all day?

I hope you didn't
over-do it today.

I've always loved you
in that robe!

Here, have some wine.

12 Things PMS Stands For

1.  Pass My Shotgun

2.  Psychotic Mood Shift

3.  Perpetual Munching  Spree


4.  Puffy Mid-Section

5.  People Make me Sick

6  Provide Me Sweets

7.  Pardon My Sobbing

8.  Pimples May Surface

9.  Pass My Sweatpants

10.  Plainly; Men Suck

11.  Pack My Stuff


and my
favorite one:

12.
 Potential  Murder Suspect

Forward this  information to all the women you know for a good laugh ...... and men who need a  warning.
 
Oh and, have some wine.



School Lessons Around the World

Thanks To Ray O'.

 

Lessons in Brasil

 

Lessons in Egypt

Lessons in USA



Fable of the porcupine 

 Thanks to David M.

Porcupine 1

It was the coldest winter ever.  Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm.  This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.  After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen.  So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. 


Porcupine 2

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.  They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth that came from the others.  This way they were able to survive.  Moral of the story: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

 

Porcupine 3

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Flatmobil

Thanks to Tony H.

Flatmobil


Four Worms in Church

(Four worms and a lesson to be learned !!!)

Worms 1


A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol
... Dead.
worms 2

The second worm in cigarette smoke ... Dead.
worms 3



The third worm in chocolate syrup
... Dead.
worms 4


The fourth worm in good, clean soil
... Alive .

So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"



Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised her hand and said,

worms 5

"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service !!



Topiary

Thanks to Ray M.

Topiary



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