A very special thank you to all contributors

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Memory Man

Thanks to Ray

A scouser is on holiday in Arizona USA.

He's staying in a remote frontier type town and walks into a bar ..

He orders his drink and sits down at the bar when he notices a native

American Indian, dressed in full regalia, feathered head dress,

tomahawk, spear, the lot, sitting in the corner under a sign saying

'Ask me anything'

The scouser is intrigued and asks the barman about him.

'Oh, we call him the memory man, He knows everything.' says the barman.

'What do you mean he knows everything?' asks the scouser.

'Well, he knows every fact there is to know and

he never, ever forgets anything'

'Yeah right' says the scouser.

'If you don't believe me, try him out.

Ask him anything, and he'll know the answer'

'Alright' says the Scouser and walks up to the Memory Man.

'Where am I from?'

'Knotty Ash, Liverpool , England ' says the Red Indian.

And he was right.

'Alright' says the scouser,

'that was easy you probably recognised my accent.

Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?'

' Liverpool ' says the memory man quick as a flash.

'Yes and who did they play?'

'Leeds United' again without blinking

'And the score?'

'2-1' says the memory man without hesitation.

'Pretty good,but I bet you don't know who scored the winning goal?'

'Ian St John' says the Indian in an instant.

Flabbergasted the tourist continues on his holiday and on his return to

Birkenhead tells all and sundry about the amazing Memory Man.

He just can't get him out of his mind and so he vows to return and find him

again and pay him his due respect .

He saves his dole money for years and finally twelve years later he has

saved enough and returns to the states in search of the memory man.

He searches high and low for him.

And after two weeks of trying virtually every bar and town in Arizona

he finds him sitting in a cave in the mountains,

older, greyer and more wrinkled than before but still

resplendent in his warpaint and full regalia.

The scouser, duly humbled approaches him and decides to greet him in

the traditional manner..

'How'.

The memory man squints at the scouser.

'Flying header in the six yard box.'

Moto Bloopers

Thanks to Alex

The Parrot Flower

Thanks to Jane MacR.

Parrot Flower

This is a flower from Thailand . It is also a protected species and is not allowed to be exported.

FROM THAILAND . . . . THE VERY RARE PARROT FLOWER

Who but God could do this!

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,

Who never did,

Who won't anymore...

And who always will.

So, don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Give these flowers to everyone of your friends.

An Explosion of Colour

Thanks to Ray O'.

How to stack Tyres

Thanks to Ray O' P.

Written by a 90 year old

Thanks to Janet

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and

parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't

save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will

this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd

grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43.. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING!?

Thanks to Paul S.

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