Sunday Family Humour Year End 2010

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

Page 1 Page 2 Newsweek

The Old Ways are the Best

Thanks to Bill S.

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in Montana asked

their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets.

When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the

winter was indeed going to be cold

and that the members of the village

should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea.

He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked,

'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,'

the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people

and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.

'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,

'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people

and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.

'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied.

'It's looking more and more like it

is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting loads of

firewood.'

Animal Voice-overs

Thanks to Paul S.

Dogs and People

Thanks to Paul S.

To receive the weekly link to the latest Sunday Family humour,

send an email to dgwest7@gmail.com

saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.

No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you.

A Living Will

Thanks to Cindy

Queen Elizabeth's Roots

Thanks to Tony H.

Paradox of our Times

Thanks to Lee

The Prostate Exam

Thanks to Ray M.

Some Habits That Keep Us From Progressing.

Thanks to John W.

"What in the world are you doing here?" she demands of him.

He replies that he has only recently left his battered physical body and is now in the next stage of development.

The woman snorts that this seems an odd place for him to be hanging around,

and she herself begins to mount steps that she has just noticed, which make an entrance to the pavilion where she assumes God is awaiting her.

There at last she sees a man who seems to have a very spiritual face. Curtsying before him, she asks to be taken directly to God.

The man replies,

"But, madam, all of us are God."

She looks wildly around and notices that he is including the old beggar in that sweep of his arms.

This annoys her, for that beggar never seemed to wash and his hair had always been matted, although she observes now that he gives the impression of cleanliness.

"Stop playing jokes," she says. "Lead me to my Maker."

"But, madam," the beautiful young man says, "He created all of us, not just you, and He does not have time to welcome each and every one of you back to this temporary stage of development. The one over there whom you think of as a beggar will be a good instructor for you during this interim period until we are able to assist you and others to reach a higher state."

Such argument as the poor woman gives him! She will have no part of taking the beggar for an instructor, or anyone else for that matter. Her business is solely with God, and she demands to know where she will find Him. Others are now crowding around, and some are also asking for God. They all want to know where He is, and the woman is indignant that many of them have caught up with her, so that she will no longer be first in line.

At last the young man turns to the throng of newly arrived souls and says sweetly, "Hearken, God is everywhere. God is love, and as surely as each of you learns to love and assist each other, there will God be working among you. Now take up the mantle and see if it fits you any better than those who surround you."

"But where is the judgment seat?" the woman demands impatiently.

"You are sitting on it, madam," the beautiful young man replies.

She looks wildly around, seeing no seat of any kind, and at last begins to perceive a glimmer of his meaning.

She is to be the sole judge of herself. No one will tell her whether she has lived a pure and blameless life.

She will have to work it out for herself, and as she begins to look within her own heart she discovers this terrible truth: In trying to live blamelessly, she has been thinking only of herself and her own spiritual growth. She was too busily concerned with her own goodness to think how to stop for a comforting word with those beneath her status. She had bethought herself to avoid contamination with those beneath her for fear that it would stain the white garments that she spiritually wore. Where was the love for others? Within herself lay all the answers. God would not have spoken more directly in His judgment than she was now able to do on her own. She who knew her own heart best was now appraising her shortcomings.

No one would judge her, for she was the sole judge of self, and when she tried to assess the qualities of the beggar beside her, she knew that not in ten thousand years could she see into his heart and know his errors of commission and omission, for he also was the sole judge of himself.

Did you like this page?

Please click +1

More on page 2

Page 1 Page 2 Newsweek