Sunday Family Humour 5th December

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors

Page 1 Page 2 Newsweek

Kids Are Quick

Different Ventriloquist

Thanks to Tony G.

Snow That Speaks

Thanks to Ray O'P.

How Real Men Shoot Skeet

Thanks to Paul S.

A recording from customer care department.

Thanks to Peter D.

This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.

I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,

which was transcribed from a recording

monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;

however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization

for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor

and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor,

did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again

and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power... a power failure?

Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system

and pack it up just like it was when you got it.

Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

To receive the weekly link to the latest Sunday Family humour,

send an email to dgwest7@gmail.com

saying subscribe Sunday Family Humour.

No costs, nothing else needed. Welcome and thank you.

'Old Chrome'

Thanks to Ray O'P.

Anyone on this planet could only dream of owning any one of these cars.

A couple restored every one of these cars and still retain ownership to everyone.

They live on Vancouver Island.

This collection is without a doubt the absolute finest collection of fifties cars in the World.

I will endeavor through mere photographs

to display this incredible collection of beauty on this webpage.

1956 Ford Skyliner (Glasstop)

We restored this car in 1988 from an original car that came from the Indian reservation here on Vancouver Island.

It is full power with all options.

1956 Meteor Crown Victoria

We restored this car in 1990 and drove it to Ocean Shores Washington for its first drive.

It is full power with all accessories except "air".

1955 Meteor Convertible

This car is mostly original and it has taken me 28 years to buy it from the origional owner.

This car spent a good part of its life in Winnipeg.

There are probably only about 8 of these cars surviving out of the total production of 201 cars.

We drove this car more last summer than any of our other cars.

I rebuilt all the mechanics and added all the accessories and options

and it has everything except "air".

There is an article on this car in FoMoCo Times

1956 Meteor Convertible

Meteors used some Mercury colors in 1956.

This 56 Meteor is painted Grove Green and Saffron Yellow with a black lightning bolt and the production numbers are only 479.

It is full power with all accessories except "air".

She has taken us to Rockin Red Deer in Alberta, Hot August Nights in Reno and many other

trips. Because of the colour, we call her "Juicy Fruit" and many people have seen this car.

1956 Mercury M-100 Pickup

We have driven this truck all over the place form Calif to Manitoba to Sturgis many times since

we bought it in 1978.

About 12 years ago I put an Aspen suspension, 302 and AOD in the truck to make it drive better

It has never missed a beat. The next time I rebuild the truck I have a 5 L. for it.

55 Merc Sun Valley.

I bought this car from an old ladies estate sale in 1983.

It was rust free but pretty banged up with only 26000 miles on it.

I added all the options and accessories and restored only as needed

keeping the car as origional as possible.

56 Mercury Montclair Convertible.

This car is one of our favorites.

I found what was left of it in the Spokane area and restored

and drove it to Hot August Nights in Reno in 1996.

It is London Grey and Persimmon with full power and all accessories.

1955 Mercury Convertible

I tow barred this car from Southern Calif in 1989 behind my little Ford short box 302.

The 55 was so ugly, not once did anyone give me the "thumbs up".

It is now restored in Canadian colors, Sunset Coral

with matching Tapestry weave interior and Metric speedo,

full power and accessory steering wheel.

It has only 530 miles on it because we mostly drive the 56 Mercury convertible.

1958 Pontiac Parisienne Convertible.

I built this car out of a super basket case.

I welded 6 months on this car alone.

It is a 348 tri-power, bucket seats and

with practically every factory and dealer option available in 1958.

We drove this car to Hot August Nights in 2004.

1966 Park Lane convertible.

I bought this car at Don Wheaton's in Edmonton when I was a kid working in the oilfields in 1968.

My wife and I honey mooned in this car in 1969

and then went overseas to work in the oilfield for 25 years.

I had the car in my barn in Manitoba until May 2005.

It is now at home on Vancouver Island

with 30,000 miles showing on the speedometer.

This is a Canadian built, bucket seat car in which only a handful were made.

The 64 Park Lane convertible is a good old 78,000 mile car, with all good parts to restore it.

It is a full power, bucket seat car with super marauder engine and rare 15" wheels.

I have cast iron headers and tri-power for it.

1958 Mercury Convertible

I looked for one of these cars for about 10 years

and finally got this one from John Fowlie in Calif.

We restored it with a 430, full power with memory seat and everything and it is big.

I was able to find a lot of NOS parts for this car

probably because not many of these cars are being restored.

Mostly 57's.

When I found the 59 Impala it was a rust bucket folded up on a 8 ft pallat.

The car had no interior or powertrain.

It was originally a black Canadian built car.

I have installed a 1995 LT-1 fuel injected engine with 700R4 trans

but when finished this car will look like it was built this way from the factory(I hope)

It is going to be the usual cruiser with fender-skirts,

full continental kit, spotlights and so on.

It is presently 70% finished but will probably be finished for next spring.

This 1959 Edsel Convertible

is the latest addition to the Mountaintop Collection.

Of course it goes without saying, this machine has full power options and has been meticulously restored under skilled hands.

Another beautiful contribution to an already stunning collection. Congrats Guys!

More on Page 2

Page 1 Page 2 Newsweek