Empathic Inquiry: on Gun Violence

Empathic Inquiry: (Dynamic Inquiry) Workshop

An empathy based approach to working with complex issueshttp://j.mp/1RLaHzt

In this process, a facilitator listens to the group participants and empathically shares their understanding of what has been said. They then write the ideas, thoughts, feelings, comments, etc. in one of 4 columns: Data/Perspectives, Possible Solutions, Concerns or Problem Statements. The facilitator can also follow up, for example, if a problem is stated, they may ask for possible solution ideas. The facilitator maintains an empathic presence and models this way of deeply listening to all group participants.

Participants

1. Edwin Rutsch - Host

2. Rosa Zubizarreta - Facilitator

3. Ondrea Barbe

4. Natalie Mattson

5. Laura Lewis-Barr

6. Tim Bonnemann

7. Ruth Backstrom

8. Edith Kuerzinger

9. Kay

10. Barb Cooke-James

We Met With Video Conferencing in Zoom.

We will use the Mural.ly online collaboration platform. Sign up for a Mural.ly account.

Mural shared view pages

Mural 1 - http://mur.al/bLpNPzW4

Mural 2 - http://mur.al/vlkP4Qg2

Mural 3 - http://mur.al/v8oMWEON

Draft notes from Empathic Inquiry webinar

co-sponsored by CultureofEmpathy.com and DiaPraxis.com

Note: All of the perspectives, solution possibilities, and concerns found below, were offered by participants during our time together. We are starting out by "mapping the territory" here; we are not assuming nor implying full group agreement on any of these particular points.

How might we design empathy-based solutions to American gun violence?

Data/perspectives

1. This issue has become polarized, "for and against", and it feels stuck.

2. Processes like these (Dynamic Inquiry, Empathy Circles), can be helpful for working with differences.

Possible solutions

1. Have empathy-based dialogues among participants with different perspectives. For example, an empathy-based process like this one. Also, empathy circles, where people learn how to do empathic reflection. This is a first step! It could start a snowball.

Concerns

1. People who come to something like this, tend to all believe the same thing. It can be hard to get people who want guns, to participate in the process.

How might we get people from various political perspectives to attend?

How might we reach beyond the choir?

Data/perspectives

1. A lot has to do with framing. Both extremes tend to frame the issue in polarizing ways – for example, calling it "gun control" is more polarizing than calling it "gun safety."

2. The gun issue is embedded in a larger cultural divide – secular/religious, urban/rural.

3. Many of us feel despair about that cultural divide.

4. The more polarized the issue gets, some gun owners can start to feel like it's "us against the world." The more isolated gun owners feel, the more they feel the need to fight for the right to have guns, and the worse the situation gets in terms of polarization.

5. Some of us who don't like guns, still want to have places where we can have respectful conversations with gun owners.

Possible solutions

1. Be specific and careful about framing the issue, to draw in people from all perspectives.

2. Focus on a common goal, of less violence and less crime. BOTH sides want this, even though they have different strategies.

3. Find some shared values, possibly family, as place to begin finding common ground for empathy.

4. Have more open conversations about guns in general (not specifically about "pro" or "anti"). We Do this as a way to help heal the divide, help people feel less isolated

Additional data

1. Some Quaker congregations have begun to have these kinds of conversations about guns.

2. Some members have been surprised to learn that some Quakers do have guns – they have them for hunting, or as family heirlooms.

3. Quakers who own guns have sometimes felt shame for doing so.

4. These congregations have found it healing to have these conversations.

How might we learn from the perspectives and the experiences of other countries?

Data/Perspectives

1. We can see ourselves in each other, when we are connecting with basic human needs. It's at the level of strategies where we differ.

   1. Some of us have had big aha's realizing that we share a need for safety, alongside people who own guns.

   2. We may also have fear in common. Some of us have been talking with gun owners and learning that they don't want to register their guns, because they are afraid that then the government will want to take their guns away.

   3. On the other side of things, as parents, many of us are afraid for the well-being of our children, and also about the effects of the drills that they are now being taught. We have been sharing these fears with gun owners.

Possible solutions

1. Dig deep to find some common ground, such as people's need to protect their family.

2. Start with the recognition that we all want safety. Use that as a common ground.

3. Acknowledge similar values, while also acknowledging different strategies.

4. Start with common ground (like safety in communities), then welcome differences.

5. Enter with a life-affirming note.

6. Have more public conversations where we can acknowledge our shared feelings, like fear.

Concerns

• 1. Sometimes when we begin by exploring commonalities, we can have a tendency to stay there, and not move into exploring differences, because we don't want to lose our sense of connection with one another.

  2. We already have more common ground than we may realize. People out there agree more on this issue than what the polls show. It's the special interests that are driving a wedge.

How might we address the larger issues that are affecting the situation of gun violence?

Data/Perspectives

1. Part of the issue is a mental health problem. When state institutions were closed, many people were left without services. People who are mentally disturbed, have easy access to guns.

2. There can be a difference between the amount of threat, and the perception of threat.

3. In Europe, more people have confidence in the police. In the U.S., many black people do not have confidence in the police, because of their experiences.

4. In Europe, most gun violence has been committed by people who were "gun freaks", not just regular gun owners. It can be hard to understand what motivates "gun freaks". Most of these are men, so some of us wonder if there may be a gender connection.

Possible Solutions

1. Address guns and mental health simultaneously, by creating a society that cares for people more.

2. Work to improve police behavior, so that people can trust the police more. Then they won't feel the need to arm themselves as much.

3. Help build people's confidence, so they don't feel so much like victims and feel less need for guns.

4. Build more relationships and connections, to create a safer world where less people will want to have guns.

5. Reframe mental illness. Many people are feeling despair and loss of hope, and this is affecting them. Mental illness is not just a physiological thing, it also has other roots in our emotional response to life circumstances.

Concerns

1. Some of us have worked in mental health for more than 30 years, and helped to liberate the chronically mentally ill from state facilities. Most of the mass shootings in the U.S. are not being committed by people who were formerly in state facilities.

Notes About the Process

From Edwin

1. there were a lot of ideas that I had that I couldn't express and get document. if we did it on Murally, where each person has some training in using the platform, then, each person could write and capture all their ideas. There could be ways to write out ideas before, during and after the meeting as well.

2. during the meeting there could be a column and stack for ideas. The facilitator then reflects and sorts them.

3. What if we do a round of facilitated empathic listening

4. then a round of direct empathic listening, with the ideas being captured and organized.

5. The at the end the ideas are sorted into themes. HMW questions are form and a article or paper is generated.

6. how about holding another workshop as a test of how to use the online platform.