Safiullah Khan
ow was the experience?
Good part: structured. Structure is limiting, not a free flow, one way conversation.
Times were I am left alone with following along, I don’t understand why I’m following. E.g. I do empathic listening, when she explains, I don’t learn why, what are the reasons, it’s more about following along, miss out on reasons. It’s all about repeating the words, making them happy about following along.
[edwin note: have more support material to explain the process, intentions, benefits up front.]
Intention. Want to hear more but can’t ask.
If I knew those answers, I would empathise more with the person. Following along is blind. Leaves me on the sidelines.
[edwin note: yes, empathy is setting yourself aside for a while and focusing on the other person. you will have your turn to be seen and to ask questions when it is your turn. The intention is for the speaker to be heard.]
Feel a deeper sense of connections. Yes.
Connection doesn’t happen most of the time. Understand the sentiment, but doesn’t understand reasons. Cannot question. Little limiting.
Sense of limitation.
Two different mental models. I would like to ask to understand more. Doesn’t let me know about what that person really feels - less engaged.
He has a need for understanding.
Why important? Understand how a person thinks, what matters to them most. What was the intent, what is the motive. Their Purpose is lost when following along.
Why important? Understand it to much better connect with person - connect with the intent, purpose. If you understand what their purpose is, leads to much better conversation, a solution based conversation, not just analysis.
[edwin notes: I ask the 5 whys]
Why are Connection and solutions are important?
Connect = understand how a person thinks and does things. Mutual interest in the other person.
Deeper connection = enjoying more.
Solving problems. Reason we share: we’ve done something good and we share, OR we don’t have an answer for something that happened. Either get or give solutions.
Sense of sharing is important.
Sharing is caring.
Sharing = altruism, tangible or intangible. Sense of altruism.
Edwin Partner name: Safi
Insight: Safi is not able to ask questions to understand the person more deeply. The empathy circle does not address the deeper need Safi has for understanding, connection, sharing, and problem solving.
Feedback:
is around
sharing when you don’t need an answer
don’t share a good story
Feelings
frustration
alone
disconnected
Needs
understanding
connection
sharing
contributing
