WORKSHOP: 2016-04-16 INTRO HCD
Interviewer: Gerti
Interviewee: Anita
Text below:
Profile:
Female
Retired School Teacher
Very active in the Unitarian Universalist community where she runs the Social Justice committee
What does empathy mean to you?
There’s a difference between empathy and compassion for me. To me, empathy is feeling the other person’s feelings, feeling sadness or anger just like them. It manifests in activism. Compassion is more like (shrugs) understanding but not feeling with someone. There’s a difference between empathizing with a person or a cause. When it’s about the cause it’s more that thinking is involved, it’s not personal. When it’s about a person, it’s personal.
Tell me a story when you felt empathy in your activism.
There was this Asian woman who told me that she used to live in North Carolina, and she was discriminated against. I felt empathy for her, I got angry. That wasn’t compassionate in my book. It’s hard to imagine what it’s like to experience hostility because of your skin color. When you feel true empathy yo have to be ready to expose yourself to these feelings.
Was there ever a time when empathy wasn’t useful?
It can be too much when it makes me too angry. It’s hard to let go sometimes. It depends on the amount of injustice I’m exposed to and how frequent. Then I have no control over it. I have to be mindful of that. I’m not always good at catching myself.
Do you experience empathy in your work on the UU committee?
You can’t be frivolous around others, the anger can feed off of each other when you work intensely on a project. That’s when you need to lighten the work with humor, you can’t take yourself too seriously.
Is there too little empathy at times?
Some people close down in the face of empathy, they don’t want to feel vulnerable so they reject your efforts at empathy. Most people aren’t always honest with their feelings, they suppress them, they don’t want to be aware. Even when I meet them with empathy, they get uncomfortable and then you have to back off and that is fine. Having emotions can be painful, most people avoid it.
Do you feel you can be empathic with yourself when needed?
I’m old. When you get older you don’t care as much about what others think. If you’re willing to understand yourself, you can understand others better.
Who is the most empathic person you’ve known?
My mother. If I believed in God I’d say she was a saint. She was aware of the suffering of others. Once we went to a restaurant and the food was terrible and all she said was, the cook tried. She saw the good in people.
How about the least empathic person?
How about Trump?