Divya

Interview Details

Date: 2/25/2016

Course: Daylong Into To HCD - 2016-02-03 PART 1-2

Interviewee: Divya

Interviewer: Ivonne

1. Demographic information Sex: Female Profession: design curriculum around social justice and self-dev issues, taught sociology undergrad & grad Nationality: India Residence: Delhi 2. Do you think empathy needs to taught? To whom? And why?

Absolutely, it is one of the best qualities one could have; also one of the most difficult to develop;

moral science in convent school, important to educate people about empathy, exceptionally important in India because so diverse, people not “like you”, extreme inequalities, extreme poverty, 200 castes, must be able to cross the cultural divide, much more globalized world, need that skill to make meaningful relationships.

But should not present it the way moral science would present it: the problem is it throws up a lot of emotions, if you try to be empathetic to people you disagree with or when you try to understand the lives of people who are disadvantaged, anger, distress, people not taught to deal with those emotions, backtrack

Our students react to this: anxiety in students: immediately jump to what can we do about it;

a process, cannot just start volunteering to alleviate guilt; need to learn to process those emotions

3. How do you think it can be taught? not school but the way I was brought up was what made me empathetic, my aunt raised me, most self-sacrificing person I know, profound influence on me, become more rigid as you grow up, has to happen as kids as school and family level; learn how to deal with disagreements;

can talk in class, show videos, but it’s really experiential, it becomes real when you go out, actually practice it, i wish i had had a group to come back to to discuss my emtions an process things

4. Do you think you are an empathetic person?

What made you that way/how did you become empathetic? Actually I don’t think I have arrived at being completely empathetic, it’s a journey, I have the lens, I want to be empathetic about most people in most situations. It is easier for me to empathize with people who are far removed, or obviously in difficult circumstances.

Very thin line between empathy and sympathy, when I first started working in slums, my first reaction was sympathy, I don’t think I was trying to imagine life from their point of view; I have learnt to empathize over time, try not to judge;

I also had my stereotypes, my family also has stereotypes, not a culture of giving to the poor, parents still have prejudicial opinions about people from different classes; in college went to a Muslim colony, relatively poorer population, spatial division in most Indian cities, people don’t venture out to those areas; first time I was very apprehensive, was really surprising because people so warm and welcoming wanted to feed me biryani,

I came back and told my mom theyre much warmer than Hindus; lots of room to be empathetic, very e with my friends, but not necessarily with my family, not much open communication, people don’t want to thrash it out, unresolved issues, times when I can’t be empathetic. Came to me via theory?

5. Exploring mental models

  • Why do you think people disagree or argue or fight? What drives people to that?

  • Why do people find it difficult to work out their differences?

  • Is there anyone you find it difficult to talk to? Why do you think that is?

  • Is there anyone you do not even feel like talking to? (in your class, your family, your group, your city/town)?

  • Why do you think you feel that way?

  • What makes it easier for you to talk to people you don’t know/ who are very different from you?

Many reasons; “sociology brain”: is this a general question?

Do you mean why do parents & kids fight, or other groups, different dynamics.

I: context: why do young adults fight or teenagers.

D: in India, lots of diversity therefore different points of view, as teenagers, lot of stereotyping, in the cool gang, or not, not fashionable enough, criteria to find similarities very superficial; now I find it difficult to relate to people with drastically different opinions, ideological differences, not the superficial differences that matter now I: do you think you would approach these people to understand them better.

D: that’s my job; I try to engage in a decent conversation about things, try to make it evidence based but it slips into some kind of heated argument; not very nice; but important to see people holistically, not just these particular opinions that characterize them