Tara Ney

Mary interviews Tara

Transcripts by Lee-Ann

What was your experience of the Empathy Circle?

L- in the beginning, Tara shared her experiences with Edwin. As she reflected back, it was really challenge for her to multitask. When she did that,it was clear, and it happens a lot, multitasking compromises her ability to speak and listen. Multitasking interferes with empathizing. The challenge of focusing attention on the task was a critical aspect of empathizing. When people aren’t listening, it may be because people aren’t able to focus on one thing at a time. Decision making is impacted by one’s ability to focus and listen, and suppress multi-tasking.

Did anything in particular work well for you?

L - Yes, it’s nice when one feels listened to, and when I am listening to others. When I am talking, and feel listened to, it gives me space to develop my thinking, what it’s connected to. Reflective and empathic listening helps Tara better explore and deepen her thinking. Feeling heard and listened to is a warm and fuzzy visceral experience. Warmth…

What do you wish was different in the process, if anything?

L - I feel nervous when I do this. I get performance anxiety. I go in and out of the performance anx. When I had the experience when Lee-Anne said. “no, that’s not quite right,” I went into self-judgment about my level of focus, I get nervous and anxious about performing and doing it right… I like how we moved around things, we shared, we all had the opportunity to play both sides. I feel there is a lot of competence in the room, so there are good habits to learn from the group.

You talked about what it was like to be a listener, and had some performance stuff come up. Is there anything we could’ve offered to you to ease it? Is there any permission that could’ve been offered?

L - Interesting. I thought it was all my responsibility. What if we paired up? And if I got into that stuck place, my partner would have helped me and we would have nudged me along.

(It’s hard for some people to be watched

It started off sharing experience with edwin

it was challenging because of the multitasking.

Tara

Insight: Tara wanted to experience more focus and spaciousness

multitasking impacts listening

Feelings

• overwhelmed with internal thoughts & multitasking

Needs

• spacouness

• concentration

• support

Feedback

I Like… the opportunity to practice and learn from thoughtful people

I Wish… more of this, and improve my skills

What if… politicians could learn to empathic decision making.???