4.1 social norms

We have already talked about norms when we talked about families: family norms are tools employed by our parents for teaching us important values such as cooperation, respect and protection. Family norms also serve for organizing the daily routines inside the house: how and when we have lunch or dinner, who is in charge of walking the dog or cleaning the bath, etc.

Our social life starts with our family life, but it does not stop there. As we grow, our social life extends to other areas: our school, our work place, our neighbors, our city and our country. Norms are essential for organizing our social life in all those areas.

Informal norms

Consider the following social situations:

• • Attending a birthday party.

  • Posting messages in a WhatsApp group.

  • Visiting your grandmother at the hospital.

  • Having lunch in the cafeteria with your schoolmates.

In these and in many other social situations, there are social norms regulating what we should and should not do. These norms dictate what is acceptable, what other people will expect from us. However,

• • Where do those norms come from? They arise from tradition and habit. They exist because we obey them (most of the time) and they will change as soon as we stop following them (and replace them with other ones).

  • Are they written in a book or a document? No, there is no such a book.

  • Who put those norms? No particular person or group of people invented these rules.

  • How did we learn them? Maybe somebody told us or maybe we learned them imitating what others do.

  • Who watches that we obey those norms? And what if we do not obey them? No specicific person is in charge of watching who obeys and who doesn't obey. And there is no specific penalty in case somebody breaks one of those norms. It is more like everybody around you watches your behaviour and criticizes you in case you do not follow a norm.

Informal norms are everywhere. They help us to organize many aspects of our daily social life. In fact, it is difficult to think of a social activity that has no rules whatsoever. A social activity that is performed differently by each one of us.

Can you think of a social activity in which there is no socially accepted way of participate? An activity that you can do any way you want without arising criticism or commentary?

Formal norms

Now consider the following social situations:

• • Attending school.

  • Driving a car.

  • Opening and operating a bank account.

  • Asking the maker of your phone to repair it without charge since it is covered by the warranty.

Again, these activities are regulated by norms. Norms that dictate who, when and how those activities must be performed. But these norms are very different from the informal norms that we have already seen:

• • Where do those norms come from? They arise from careful consideration of the best way of doing things. We may follow tradition, but we mostly follow our reason when creating these norms. Justice and fair play play (or should play) a fundamental role in the origins of those norms.

  • Are they written in a book or a document? Yes, they are carefully written as regulations and laws.

  • Who put those norms? Specific people is in charge of writing, approving and revising laws and regulations.

  • How did we learn them? We mostly do not learn them unless we need to, and even then we hire trained professionals for helping us (lawyers).

  • Who watches that we obey those norms? There are people in charge of watching that everyone affected obeys these norms: inspectors, controllers, police officers, etc.

  • And what if we do not obey them? There are clearly specified penalties for those breaking one of those norms. For instance: after-school detentions, economic fines, loss of rights (such as the right of driving) and for the most serious crimes, the jail.

Formal norms regulate the most complex and potentially conflictive aspects of our society. Laws and regulations do that establishing our rights and obligations. For example, the formal norms that regulate the warranty of our mobile phone establishes:

• • What are your rights: you have the right of asking for a reparation of your phone. The regulation also establishes that you have the right of receiving a new phone if reparation is not possible.

  • What are the limitations of your rights: the warranty expires two years after the purchase date. It also expires if you open your phone or do not take proper care of it.

  • What are the obligations of the company that made your phone: they have to repair or replace your phone and they have a certain amount of time for doing that.

  • What are your obligations: you have to present your receipt. You have to handle your phone to the maker.