Decisions

Taking decisions

Taking decisions is one key aspect of our lives: we can't do everything we want, like or need. We may want to spend the evening practicing a new choreography for the school festival but we also need to study for an exam, and there is not enough time for doing both. We may want to have a new jacket but we also need a new pair of boots, and we have not enough money for buying both. We have to take decisions.

And when we take a decision, we may take the right decision or we may take the wrong decision. There may be bad consequences if we take the wrong decision, so taking decisions is important, is difficult and it is a bit scary.

When we were children, our parents decided for us. They know what is best for us and they have experience taking decisions, so they decided everything for us. But as we grow, they let us decide by ourselves. Small decisions first, more important decisions later.

Taking our own decisions is one key aspect of our independence and freedom.

In order to learn how to take good decisions, we have to analyze what is included in taking a decision.

We will see that a decision is composed of two parts, first choosing and then doing:

deciding = choosing + doing

Choosing our goals

Let us consider one of the above situations: we want to spend the evening practicing a new choreography for the school festival, but we also need to study for an exam, and there is not enough time for doing both things.

Before choosing what we are going to do, we have to consider the importance of each option, for instance:

• • ¿How much do I need to practice the choreography? Maybe I have been practicing it for two days and I am reasonably sure that I know it already.

  • ¿When will the festival take place? ¿Can I practice tomorrow evening?

  • ¿How much do I need to study for the exam? Maybe I have studied it yesterday and I am reasonably sure that I will pass it.

  • ¿When will the exam take place? ¿Can I study tomorrow?

  • ¿Do I need to practice the choreography with other people? ¿Do they need me or can they do it without me?

These and many other considerations may be relevant in this example, and we have to think about them before choosing. Or we may do not think at all and choose impulsively. In our example, among the impulses may be the following:

• • Fear of failing the exam, so I choose to study even when I have already studied it and I promised to my friends that I would practice the choreography with them.

  • Studying is boring but dancing is a lot of fun, so I choose to practice the choreography even when if a fail the exam, I risk to fail the complete course.

Achieving our goals

Remember that deciding = choosing + doing. Let's now think about the second part of taking a decision.

When a new year begins, many smokers choose to give up smoking. They think about the many illnesses that smoking provokes, and they choose wisely to give up smoking. But what usually happens the following days or weeks? Most of those smokers go back to smoking. What has happened? They choose correctly, but they failed to act accordingly.

In order to take a decision, it is not enough to choose what to do, then we have to do it. This second part (acting) is as important as the first one (choosing), if not more important. The example of the smokers teaches us that many times maintaining a decision is much harder than simply choosing: everybody can choose to give up smoking, but it takes a strong will to actually give up smoking.

To have a strong will is to be able to maintain what we have previously chosen. On the contrary, we have a weak will if we are unable to maintain our decisions and therefore we do not act accordingly with what we have chosen.

To have a strong will is important. Can we increase our willpower? Later on we will see several techniques that may help us have a strong will. For now, let just say that the adolescence is the best moment for acquiring good habits that increase our willpower:

Freedom

We have said that a person that takes his own decisions is a free person. We also know that taking decisions involves two things: choosing and acting. So we can be free in two different ways:

• 1. We can be free to choose as we want.

  2. We can be free to act as we want.

When talking about freedom, it is important to differentiate these two ways. Many times, we are free to choose but we are not free to act.