personality

The fable of the frog and the scorpion

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey until he reached a river. The river was wide, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way to cross that river.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting by the bank of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" said the scorpion, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked:

"What about when I get close to the other side of the river? How do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and then kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," said the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death."

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his legs paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why did you do that?"

The scorpion said: "I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the waters and died.

Is the scorpion a bad person? What is his defect?

Can you explain the last words of the scorpion? "It is my nature"

And what was the mistake of the frog?

Can you put an example of a person acting like the scorpion of the story?

Can you put an example of a person acting like the frog of the story?

Our personality defines us

When we talk about the personality we talk about how we are.

We are a combination of many features or characteristics, among them:

  • friendly or unfriendly

  • optimistic or pessimistic

  • easily scared or courageous

  • nice or aggravating

  • nervous or calm (relaxed)

  • self-confident or insecure

  • trusting or distrustful

  • responsible or irresponsible

  • funny or serious

  • shy or outgoing

  • violent (aggressive) or peaceful

  • loyal or disloyal

  • constant or inconstant

  • humble or arrogant

  • flexible or inflexible

  • forgiving or unforgiving (vengeful)

  • organized or disorganized

  • curious or cautious

  • empathic (compassionate) or cold (indifferent)

  • selfish or generous

  • etc.

If you think about it, these characteristics define us and differentiate us from other people.

We may know almost the same things as our classmates (maths, sciences, etc.), our desires and needs are also very similar to those of other people, and we all have very similar feelings and emotions.

Our intelligence, desires and emotions do not define us as strongly or clearly as our personality. For this reason, we say that the personality defines the person.

Exercise 3.1

    1. From the list of personality features, choose three that describe your personality.

    2. Now choose another three features that describe the personality of the person that sits next to you.

    3. Finally, compare notes with your classmate. ¿Have you chosen the same features? ¿Does your classmate sees you as you see yourself?

What are the differences between how you view yourself and how others view you?

Exercise 3.2

What do you think is the ideal personality of a good friend? From the above list of personality features, choose three characteristics of a good friend.

Also from the above list, choose three characteristics that a good friend should not have.

Three desirable traits

1:

2:

3:

Three undesirable traits:

1:

2:

3:

Temperament and character

Can we choose and change our personality? Or are we born with a personality that will not change during our lives? Both alternatives are true.

Think about a nervous personality or a tranquil personality. Some babies are more nervous than others, cry more often, sleep less, move their arms and legs more frequently. Others are more tranquil, cry less, sleep more and stay calm in the cradle. Part of our personality is inherited from our parents and we can hardly change it. This part of our personality is called temperament.

Now think about being optimistic or pessimistic. Some people are more optimistic that others: they do not think often about future illnesses or about death. When they have to make changes, they think that those changes will bring them good things and new opportunities.

However, an optimistic person may turn into a pessimistic one. Maybe he or she becomes ill, maybe he looses his job and is unemployed for a long time. Little by little, he becomes a pessimistic person. Now he thinks his future is black, nothing good will ever happen to him.

But this may not be the end of the story. Later in his life, he wins the lottery, all his illnesses disappear, he finds the love of his life. Now again he is an optimist. So there is another part of our personality that changes, and we can do things for changing it. This part of our personality is called character.

Personality = Temperament + Character

Personality: set of habits and qualities that define a person. Each person has its unique combination of habits and qualities.

Temperament: the subset of the personality that is innate: we are born with our temperament. Sometimes we can control our temperament, it but it is always there.

Character: the subset of the personality that is not innate: we build our character. We are capable of change, improve our character during all our lives.

In order to take good decisions, we have to learn and control our temperament. We can not change it, but if we know ourselves, we can control it. During our adolescence we build the main characteristics of our character. We can have an optimistic or a pessimistic character, we can become responsible or irresponsible people, we can become friendly or unfriendly people. All these characteristics are part of our character, and we can create or change them.

Exercise 3.3

Think about the following characteristics, which ones can be changed (not just covered or masked, but changed) and which ones may be controlled but can't be changed?

Exercise 3.4

Now, consider only the characteristics of the previous exercise that can be changed or controlled.

For each one of them, suggest a way to change it. If it is a good characteristic, suggest how to increase or even improve it. If it is a bad one, suggest how to reduce or even suppress it.