joshua Southon

Douglas Park School's staff, students and community are very saddened by the tragic loss of Josh and Darren Southon.

Josh was a kind, caring & humble child with an amazing sense of humour. Heavily involved in school life Josh was a school councillor, PRIDE team leader, an excellent sportsman and a key leader within our Kapa haka. He was a valued member of the classroom, his peers and staff held him in high regard as a role model within our school.

Darren and Lisa have contributed a lot to the school over the last decade with both Josh and Jorja coming through DPS. Often seen supporting his children from the sidelines at events, Darren was a popular member of our parent community and always happy to help the school out.

Josh will be fondly remembered by all those whose lives he graced.

Our condolences, aroha and thoughts are with Lisa, Jorja and whanau at this time.

Gareth Sinton

Principal

Douglas Park School

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN

Provide a safe environment where your child feels able to express feelings in whatever way she or he can
Help them to find ways to show their feelings through play, water play, writing a letter, a story, a poem, painting or drawing.
Give factual information to them in a way that they can understand. Don't forget that children need to know what is happening even if they don't ask. Sometimes parents are so busy with their own needs that children can be overlooked.
Young children may not seem sad when you think they should be, because they still don't really understand what it all really means. This isn't a lack of being sensitive; it is just the stage they are at.
Allow children time to talk, ask questions and share worries with you. They might be very confused and need to ask lots of questions. If you can't talk about it, find another adult who is close to your child who can. If children can't talk to you about the loss, they might feel that it is not safe to talk about it at all and will continue to have muddled and scary feelings.
You may have to answer the same question over and over as your child learns to understand what has happened
Be honest. Parents sometimes lie to children because they want to protect them. If you don't tell them what has happened, you may prevent them from dealing with the loss and grieving. This can cause problems when they have other losses in their lives.
Stick to as many of the family routines as you can. Too many changes will add further stress. Doing the same things as usual helps children to feel safe.
Try to open the way if they feel unable to talk about their feelings. Say something like 'Some things are really hard to talk about, but talking can help. If you ever want to talk about what has happened, let me know'.
Keep some rules about what children are allowed to do. If you think they are taking advantage of the situation you will start to feel angry and that won't help.
Share your own grief – don't hide your sadness. Children will feel more normal about their own feelings and feel comforted to know that the feelings they have are in line with those of the rest of the family. If you are really distressed it may not be wise to share feelings with children because it is important that they know that you are in control and can keep them safe.
Ceremonies such as funerals can be important ways for children as well as adults to help make sense of the big changes in their lives Sharing emotions can help people feel connected to others.
Get support for yourself. Talk with your partner or a friend. Some agencies offer personal grief counselling
Remember that children grieve in bursts. They have their own individual reactions, and they feel loss just as much as adults but may show it differently.
Allow times for extra closeness and comfort.
If your family has a spiritual belief this can be a support to children and parents.
Don't rely on your child for support. You need to support your child
Be honest, trustworthy and reliable
Give your grieving child special times with you to talk about feelings.
The biggest need for children and teenagers who have a loss is that they are supported and cared for and have someone to talk to about it.
If your child or teenager seems to not be managing, seek help.

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