Sunday Family Humour May 2nd 2010 Page 3
Sunday Family Humour May 2nd 2010 Page 3
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
The Pastor's Ass
Thanks to Colin
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline
the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier
and live longer!
Spring
Thanks to Lee
Going to school ...exciting or what?
Thanks to David H.
An Irish farmer
Thanks To Mark, Laos
An Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident.
In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus..
'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'
asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded
'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded
my favourite cow, Bessie, into the....'
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted.
'Just answer the question.
Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road......'
The solicitor interrupted again and said,
'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident,
this man told the police on the scene that he was fine...
Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client.
I believe he is a fraud.
Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.
'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was
driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through
a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side.
I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.
I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning.
I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes..
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said,
'How are you feeling?'
'Now I ask you,what the heck would you have said?
Beautiful Photos
Thanks to Lee
Kenny and Ziggie's Deli
Thanks to Ray O'
This will make you hungry!!!!
The Irony of it all
Thanks to Ray M.
