Sunday Family Humour 19th September Page 2

Sunday Family Humour 19th September Page 2

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

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Thanks

David

Honesty

Thanks to Ray O.

Thought to Ponder ...

Honesty is the absence of the intent to deceive.

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. D E N I A L = Don't Even Notice I Am Lying.

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Today's Meditation:

Calmness is constructive of good. Agitation is destructive of good. I

should not rush into action. I should first "be still and know that He is

God." Then I should act only as God directs me through my conscience. Only

trust, perfect trust in God, can keep me calm when all around me are

agitated. Calmness is trust in action. I should seek all things which can

help me to cultivate calmness. To attain material things, the world learns to

attain speed. To attain spiritual things, I have to learn to attain a state of calm.

Today's Prayer:

I pray that I may learn how to have inner peace. I pray that I may be calm,

so that God can work through me.

Today's Quotable:

Four things to learn in life:

To think clearly without hurry or confusion;

To love everybody sincerely;

To act in everything with the highest motives;

To trust God unhesitatingly.

Helen Keller

Which is the best religion? The Dalai Lama answers

Thanks to Jane MacR.

Google Presentation

When Things Go Wrong

Thanks to Paul S.

Cool Photography

Thanks to Paul S,

Google Presentation

Are we GETTING TOO old to DRIVE this Car?

Thanks to Paul S.

No joke! Scary, but true?

Scroll down

Presenting the New Mercedes Benz SCL600

Pretty, isn't it?

So?

What's different about this car?

Not this...

Here is the real difference

WHOA !

No Steering Wheel

No Pedals either

You drive this car with a joystick

Do you think that you

can drive with a joystick?

Your kids and grandkids can.

The influence of video games in our lives

has really arrived, wouldn't you say?

But there is more!

The SCARY THOUGHT is:

NOW a 3-YEAR-OLD can STEAL your car

AND DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU CAN !

Yep - Start checking the senior bus schedule!!!!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Thanks to Ray M.

What did you expect....it's free from a demented old friend on the Internet.

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe....as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!"

Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master!.....The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

(I am soooooo sorry.....but you really should've seen that one coming!!)

You might even consider changing your e-mail address now!!!!

Village in Afghanistan

Thanks to Paul S.