Sunday Family Humour 18th April 2010

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

Fire

Thanks to Bill S.

In South Sydney, a fire destroyed a multi story block of flats.

A Polynesian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire.

An Islamic group of seven Pakistani welfare cheats, all illegally in the country, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.

Six Maori ex-cons lived on the 3rd floor and they too, died.

Four Aboriginal families in the 2 flats on the 4th floor also perished.

One white couple lived on the top floor. They survived.

Relatives of the deceased and local do-gooders were furious.

They flew into Sydney and quickly demanded a meeting with the fire chief.

On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Islanders, Muslims, Maoris and Aboriginals all died in the fire and only the white couple survived.

The fire chief quietly replied, "They were both at work."

Underwater

Thanks to Ray O'

Google Presentation

One hell of a Yarn

Thanks to Tony

Kids on Marriage

Thanks to Blain

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10 (good plan Alan)

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

-- Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

-- Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

-When they're rich.

-- Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

- - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

- - Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

-- Kelvin, age 8

And the Favorite is...

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.

-- Ricky , age 10

The World's Trains

Thanks to Ray M.

CHINA 's CRH2

TAIWAN's THSR

KOREA 's KTX

JAPAN 's SHINKANZEN

SPAIN 's AVE

UK 's EUROSTAR

FRANCE ' TGV

DUBAI 's METRO

INDIAN 's ALL ABOARD

Pakistan !!!!!

Sorry

The Train is Late

Free lunch

Thanks to Ray O'

First - take the tram up to the start of the trail.

Now follow the path on the wooden planks

Be sure to hold on to the 'railing' the chain attached to the side

Keep an eye on the person in front of you.

Be very careful when passing someone going in the opposite direction.

Now just up a few steps. (they are on the left in the picture)

Gets a little steeper here - so put your toes in the holes .

A few more steps to go. You might want to hold on

Finally in sight.

'THE RESTAURANT' !!!

This restaurant is in China

If you manage to reach the

restaurant the food is free

Let me know how the food is.

I'm not going.

Navy FA-18 pilot

Thanks to Ray O'

Navy FA-18 pilot with camera facing backward, making a cat shot, a lot of cloud dodging

and then landing back on the carrier.