Sunday Family Humour 28th March

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

"Murphy's Hat"

Thanks to Mark, Laos

A little Irish humor....

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."

This could be you someday

Thanks to Mark, Laos

Spark Plugs

Thanks to David H.

Google Presentation

Obama has arrived.

Thanks to Lee

Late night comedy.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?

A: A fund raiser. Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?

A: America! Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?

A: Bo has papers. Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?

A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

A man in The Kitchen

Thanks to Mark, Laos

Fantastic Trip

Thanks to Tony

Google Presentation

Paddy and Mick

Thanks to Tony

Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London .

Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that

catches his eye.

The sign said: "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per

pair".

Paddy says to his pal, "Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose,

And when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.

Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, OK?

Just let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our accent, they might

not be nice to us.

I'll speak in my best English accent."

"Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will," replies Mick.

They go in and Paddy says, "I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at

£2.00 each

And 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my van and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts. "You're from Ireland , aren't you?"

"Well... Yes," says a surprised Paddy. "How der hell d' y' know dat?"

The owner replied, "This is a dry cleaners"