Sunday Family Humour 18th April 2010 Page 4

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

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AAADD

Thanks to Tony

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.... .PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

On the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

Since I'm going to be near the mailbox

When I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,

And see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,

So I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,

But first I need to push the Coke aside

So that I don't accidentally knock it over..

The Coke is getting warm,

And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold..

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

A vase of flowers on the counter

Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and

Discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote..

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 cheque in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,

And I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem,

And I'll try to get some help for it,

But first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favour.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

Because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

Toilets of the World

Thanks to Blain

Google Presentation

Jungle Alcohol

Thanks to Tony

This is a real video from a French documentary about Africa . You probably won't understand a word, but the video is a Hoot.

There are trees that grow in Africa which, once a year, produce very juicy fruit that contains a large percentage of alcohol. Because there is a shortage of water, as soon as the fruits are ripe, Animals come there to help protect themselves from the Heat.

What happens next, you can watch for yourselves.

THE COWBOY

Thanks to Blain

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.....

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face ... Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, “Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!”

St Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“Couple minutes ago......”

Funnies

Thanks to Mark, Laos