Sunday Family Humour 19th September 2010

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

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Your help would be much appreciated - even $5 goes a long way.

Thanks

David

From the country

Thanks to Ray M

When you're from the country, you look at things a little differently...

A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door.

A young boy, about 9, opened the door

"Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked.

"No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?"

"No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes,

shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely.

"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one.

Or maybe I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably,

"I really wanted to talk to your Dad.

It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'

The boy considered for a moment.

"You would have to talk to Pa about that", he finally conceded.

"If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog,

but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."

Temple of Tigers

Thanks to Paul S.

Google Presentation

Some funny pics

Thanks to Paul S.

Men in Coats

Thanks to Paul S.

The Jiffy Group

Thanks to Tony

Jeep Mechanics

THE POWER OF THE BADGE

A member of the DEA drives up to a ranch in Montana. He talks with an old rancher.

He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher says, "Okay, but don't go into that field over there," as he points out the location.

The Police officer verbally explodes, screaming at the rancher. " Mister, I have the full authority of the entire US Government with me."

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his DEA badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.

"See this badge old man? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I want . . . whenever I want . . . no questions asked and no answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand, old man?" as he waves the badge in the ranchers face.

The rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life, chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the DEA officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before reaching safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs . . .

"Your badge!! Show him your BADGE!!