Sunday Family Humour April 25th Page 3
Sunday Family Humour April 25th Page 3
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures and cartoons and presentations and humour or all the family
A very special thank you to all contributors.
Speeding
Thanks to Mark G.
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car
salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 160kmh,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the N1, enjoying pushing the pedal
to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a
police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as
he floored it to 180kmh,then 220 then 240kmh. Suddenly, he thought,
"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled
over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up
with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of
the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10
minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you
can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before,
I'll let you go."
The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir", said the policeman .
A Thousand Islands
Thanks to Ray M
Every Pub Should Have One
Thanks to Tony
Having a bad day?
Thanks to Ray O'
And of course, the worst possible start to a day . . . ...
The Wonders of Nature
Thanks to Ray O'
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders
of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied,
'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted
her foot and stomped them flat.
'Well, we're not having any of that poofter stuff in our garden' she said.
A New Boat
Thanks to Ray O'
Grandma doesn't always know best
Thanks to Paul B.
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth.
'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'
Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse.
It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'