Sunday Family Humour 15th August

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

Little Johnny

Thanks to Ray M.

You'll like this!

Little Johnny was walking down the sidewalk one day and an old man was sitting on his front porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.

The old man said "Whatcha got there son?"

Johnny said "Got me some chicken wire."

"Whatcha gonna do with that chicken wire son?" asked the old man.

"Gonna catch me some chickens!" said Johnny.

"You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!" said the oldster.

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and walked on down the street.

About a half hour later Johnny came back passing the old mans front porch . . . with 3 chickens entangled in the chicken wire!

The old man was shocked and couldn’t believe his eyes.

About a half hour later, Johnny was again walking past the old mans porch. "Whatcha got now son?"

"Got me some duct tape."

"And whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?" the old man asked.

"Gonna catch me some ducks!"

"You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!" said the old man.

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking.

About a half hour later, back comes Johnny with 3 ducks tangled in the duct tape.

Again, the old man rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

About a half hour later, Johnny again was passing the porch.

"Whatcha got now son?" asked the old man.

Johnny said "Got me some pussy willow."

The old man said "WAIT RIGHT THERE WHILE I GET MY SHOES!"

Advanced kids

Thanks to Bill S.

(Sound only)

CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES

Thanks to Ray M.

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.

Fred Astair

Thanks to Tony H

You'll never see dancing like this again!

Great Stuff

They were really good! -Two of the greatest dancers that ever came down the pike

ELEANOR POWELL was just too good. FRED ASTAIRE never elected to be paired with her again.

He, later said it was not to his benefit, she was just too great... but they were both great.

Frank Sinatra said we will not see the likes of this again. Eleanor Powell is fully clothed with a dress below her knees, and in high heels, sadly a bygone era of true beauty, civility and grace.

1. They are not rolling around on the floor. You can say that again !!!

2. The year: 1940 (70 years ago)

3. The narrator is Frank Sinatra.

4. It was filmed in ONE unedited camera shot! Amazing

CARNATION MILK AD 65 YRS AGO- THIS IS PRICELESS

Thanks to Ray M.

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farm since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with 'Carnation Milk is best of all'.

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black limo pulled up in front of her house. A man got out and said, 'Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $2,000 even though we will not be able to use it!'

True story.

Marvin

Thanks to Ray M.

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