Sunday Family Humour 14th March Page 3

Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour

A very special thank you to all contributors.

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Man picks up the cell phone at the golf club

Thanks to Tony

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.

It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership

and saw the New 2010 models.

I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...

the house I wanted last year is back on the market.

They're asking $950,000'

MAN: 'Well, go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000.

They will probably take it.. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand..'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up.

The other men in the locker room are staring at him

in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks:

'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

More from Walmarts

Thanks to Lee

What every father wants to see picking up his daughter for the prom!

Go for it Nana-Fluorescent orange toe nails will go great with that outfit!

If his wife can't convince him to remove this decal, you best leave him alone..

Here's a five spot...try not to scratch my '81 Buick Skylark!

Good thing he didn't have a personal interview before the bank

issued him that credit card!

Testimony as to what fresh veggies can do for you...

No problem man...just need a little duct tape and a couple of flashlights. ...

This had to be taken in Alabama .....

..and this has to be an Alabama coed...wonder what she scored on her SATs?

Save your money, honey...afraid make-up won't help you much.

Can't wait to see who's at the demo table!

Where is the cereal aisle?

Uh...you want to take my youngster for a ride in your bunny wagon? I don't think so!

Is this an air spoiler or a TV rack for the tail gate party?

Don't need a dog...dogs won't eat kudzu.

Hope she's not the one at the Quilted Northern demo table!

Gotta get there early if you want a good seat for the Crimson Tide game.

Talk about 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound sack!

Not about to pay $100 deductible to fix that window when he's

Got stuff in the basement to do the same thing...

Looks like Brittany Spears is off her diet again...

Makes you glad you can't see this from the front, doesn't it?

Them bros ain't got nuthin on me..

What you wanna bet that granny is packing heat?

That's gotta be Crimson Tide red...

Breeze? What breeze? I don't feel a breeze.

Yes, I do wear size 28 britches..

Dakar Pictures

Thanks to David H

Google Presentation

To Be 6 Again

THanks to Blain

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like tohave for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six

again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story:

Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

GERMAN PARKING GARAGE

Thanks to Tony

How's this for an engineering feat?

STATE OF THE ART GERMAN PARKING GARAGE COOL!!!

This is pretty amazing! Can you imagine how all this operates?

How do they lock each car in its cubicle for safety? WHO CARES?

NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND COULD GET IN THERE. (But believe me, the Germans WILL LOCK THAT CAR!)

Talk about German efficiency! The two photos above were taken at a new parking garage in Munich .

The actual space that the facility occupies is approximately only 20% of a comparable facility with the traditional design that is used primarily in the US ..

Not only is the German structure less expensive to build, but vehicles are also 'retrieved' in less time and without the potential of being damaged by an attendant.

Outsourcing

Thanks to Ray

video

Getting things into perspective

Thanks to Lee