Sunday Family Humour 21st March 2010 Page 3
I found out in a hurry that I didn't.
These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers.
1. Name the one sport in which neither the
spectators nor the participants know the score or the
leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly
moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce
on their own for several growing seasons.
All other vegetables must be replanted every year.
What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy,
with a real pear inside the bottle.
The pear is whole and ripe, and the
bottle is genuine, it hasn't been cut in any way.
How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters
"dw" and they are all common words.
Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.
Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen,
canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet
beginning with the letter "S."
Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the
leader until the contest ends.
Boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward.
Niagara Falls
(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of
gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons.
Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside.
Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle?
It grew inside the bottle.
The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small,
and are wired in place on the
tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season.
When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with dw.
Dwarf, dwell and dwindle. (Isn't "Dweeb" a word?)
7.
Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar.
Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark,
exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8.
The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned,
processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh.
Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "S".
Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
Thanks to Ray M.
Never trust a Kangaroo
Thanks to Ray M.
SOMETIMES WHEN YOU CRY
Thanks to Tony
S O M E T I M E S
Sometimes...
when you cry....
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes...
when you are in pain.
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes..
when you are worried..
no one sees your stress
Sometimes..
when you are happy..
no one sees your smile ..
-
But FART !! just ONE time....
And everybody knows!!
Gotcha!! You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!
4 Worms Church Sermon
Thanks to Lee
For those of you who missed church on Sunday, here is a recap!
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation -
What did you learn from this demonstration???
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service .....
A Beautiful message About Growing Old
Thanks to Tony
A Beautiful message About Growing Old:
Shit ...
I forgot what it was.....
Gibraltar Airport
Thanks to David H.
This puts a whole new meaning to the saying, "Never run a red light!"
Did you know that both Gibraltar 's Airport runway and vehicular traffic crossings are at the same level?
